


Love in the Citadel

by ZoBerry



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Everyone Loves Shepard, F/F, I don't know what I'm doing, Parody, Still... enjoy!, except Maya Brooks and CloneShep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:33:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23904688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoBerry/pseuds/ZoBerry
Summary: A re-telling of the Citadel DLC in ME3.Re the war: Kinda AU, Open to interpretation. There is still a war, but not much mention of the reapers, as we'd like to make sure that there's no rushing in this DLC regarding the bigger problems in the galaxy.Contains established: FemShep / Liara. A fun ride with friends - plus the usual killer.The Virmire duo is alive. Mordin is alive, genophage is cured, Quarians and Geth are playing nice - basically all the good things... except for Legion. Which he shall be memorialised.Rated E for certain chapters - will be placed in notes.
Relationships: EDI/Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni, Garrus Vakarian/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya
Comments: 19
Kudos: 18





	1. Anderson's Gift

**Author's Note:**

> I had to practice some writing in terms of many people conversing. I couldn't quite get the hang of how to do it fluidly...
> 
> I also tend to blabber in the notes just how I blabber in the story... still... Hopefully the story works out anyway. :)  
> Hope you have fun!

#  **Ashley’s Interview:**

Side A: “Commander Shepard is a goddamn hero, if I say so myself. She’s tough, has her head on her shoulders at all times and well, I guess even though she _did side_ with Cerberus, she has my full support and I’m never doubting her again.” - Testimony of Ashley Williams for Battlespace

Side B: “Command Shepard is an ass, can you believe after that battle with Saren she decided I had to loosen up and decided to tackle me - head on after removing our armor and decided to tickle me?! I mean I’m strong, but her strength was something else, and oh god, the mortification of having everyone, even the aliens - hey guys - seeing me like that. She’s a piece of work that Commander, but… she has my support always, it just took a good lunch steak, a first edition poetry book, and a bow of sorry.” - Ashley Williams on Commander Shepard as she buries her head in her hands out of shame. 

##  **Chapter 1: Anderson's Gift**

Shepard couldn’t believe it. Shore leave! As if that was even possible nowadays.

Here she was though, standing in front of Tiberus Towers, the towering building that she would call 'home' for a borrowed time. She couldn’t help but let out a low whistle as the door opened and there it was - “Who knew Anderson had such a swanky ass-”

She was interrupted by the sound of a beeping monitor beside her. “Commander” Anderson’s voice said despite the static. “Glad to see you’ve made it.” 

“It’s not exactly a dangerous place, Silversun strip.” Shepard said with a smirk as she turned to Anderson on attention. “Thank you for letting me stay here, Sir-” she started before getting interrupted by a shake of Anderson’s head.

“I want you to have it, take it off my hands.”

Shepard's eyebrows rose as high as their floor on the tower, “Respectfully sir-” 

“I thought Kahlee and I would be able to retire somewhere nice so I bought that place, but I’m guessing with the way things are, it’s not going to be possible anymore. I want you to have it.” 

“Who says I’ll still be alive for this, surely the galaxy is going to throw another and another on top of me. Not that i’m going to complain.” Shepard replied as she scratched behind her head, obviously a bit sheepish at it all, sure she got gifts here and there, but not to the point of an actual house that had all the fancy bells and whistles.

“You’ve been on impossible tasks Shepard, winning against foes that were never our enemies in the first place, and even taking on a Suicide Mission - with many other souls who no doubt followed you because they believed in you. So give this old man some slack and don’t make me beg. Cause you’ll live through this, Shepard. In any case, you can always pay me back by making sure we survive -” Anderson had to laugh at that part, as it was obvious Shepard’s face changed to one of disbelief at the last sentence. “For now, have fun, enjoy and soak in the tub in the master’s area, you’re going to miss it once you’re back in the Normandy.”

“Thank you Sir. Take care” was all Shepard could say as the comm closed and she was left alone.

Shepard turned around and hummed as she took one last look at the big picture of the room. 

"Time to explore."


	2. Swanky Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Appreciation of the personal home

#  **Kaidan’s Interview:**

  
  
Side A: “She’s something else, Commander Shepard is definitely something else. She’s beautiful, and _strong_ , have you all seen how strong she is? Woman lifted me up when I got mangled by EDI's body - I mean that Eva Core - and actually, you know what. I’m actually just speechless. Cause.. I can list more great things, and this air time won't be enough and, Commander Shepard is the best. She has had my back, and everyone’s back from the start. So yeah, that’s it. - .” - Testimony by Kaidan Alenko for Battlespace

Side B: “I can’t believe I stuttered so many times! You’d think I would know what to say about the Commander huh? But yeah, if I were honest every ‘great’ thing I could say would go hand in hand with a ‘bullshit’ thing. Did you know she slapped my ass once in the mess hall? We were close sure, but it was in front of Anderson and oh god. Looking back at it now she said she was half asleep, but looking now? I’m sure it was just to embarrass me.” -Kaiden Alenko on Commander Shepard as the blush on his cheeks grow deeper every second.

##  **Chapter 2: Swanky Ass**

It hadn’t fully sunk in Shepard yet that the place was hers, but it was as breathtaking as any could be.

Given that all she ever lived in was - if not her childhood home, then it always changed between bunkers, Alliance bunkers and the Normandy bunker then back to Alliance bunker, then the Normandy, and once for two good years that Cerberus table where she got operated on. 

The skyline made her appreciate just that - the fact that it all belonged to her. “Look at that.” she breathed as the blinds opened and she gazed out into the bustling busy strip. It was almost like Omega, busy, bustling. People moving everywhere - but with more class and less junk floating around. “If by junk I meant trash, not body parts, no lack of skin in either place.” Her eyes followed the scantily clad Asari sashaying towards a Turian, even up high Shepard could see the Turian’s mandibles flutter.

The place was amazing, it was definitely a home for relaxation as there was no notice of anything work related apart from the small set up upstairs and the work desk below it. There were no terminals or holograms, or any important Alliance requisite. Just a place to relax. 

Shepard wondered briefly if Anderson ever had a chance to stay here. She looked at the water falling down the walls and wondered how clean it was before smiling to herself and heading towards the living room. 

“I’d better invite some people up here later. I’m sure they’ll love it just as much, don’t even know where they’re staying.” She murmured to herself as she realized that she didn't exactly ask any of the crew how long it would take - assuming that it would be done within the next day at best.

She sat down on one of the reclining chairs in the living area as she picked up a datapad and listened in on one of Anderson’s biographies. As she listened, she couldn’t help but be taken back to her first missions on the Normandy, being under Anderson and a part of the team with Joker, Chakwas, even Pressly. She lounged around, thinking about the man who was with her during her first year in the Normandy, so many things happened - but what really got to her was the fact that she would have never thought the last time she would see Pressly was his dogtags, scattered with everyone else from the Normandy during the crash a few years ago. “Rest in peace Charles Pressly.” she whispered as the bio came to a close. 

Shepard almost let herself relax and fall asleep on the recliner if it wasn’t for a continuous beeping noise that emerged from the back room. She sat up and stretched as she walked towards the noise. “Even now I’m getting endless notifications.” she mused “and not even an hour out of the Normandy.” Tapping on the terminal, she read the message and was surprised.

“Well, I guess Joker’s swanky ass is good for something else other than piloting.” she smirked as she went upstairs to grab a dress, after all she was going to get treated to one of the poshest places in the Citadel. 

As she quickly showered and changed, she took notice of another set of datapads she placed near the weapons rack, with a shake of her head and a promise that she would listen to all of them later, she went to the closet and let out a hum of appreciation.

"Anderson really did mean to give me this place, all my clothes from Earth are here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's really not a lot. I just wanted to appreciate the apartment cause that's some really high end shizzaz.


	3. My Fish Will Want For Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A 'meeting date' gone wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter has meatier interactions, as we know that at this part in the Lower Wards quest is where the LI pops up. Should get the ball rolling after.

#  **Joker’s Interview:**

  
Side A: “I’ve been with Commander Shepard the longest and damn if that doesn’t mean something, nothing else would. I mean, I’m a great guy, again - the best helmsman out there, so we kinda go hand in hand you see? Her being the best soldier any species can come up with, and me the best in flying - we’re a team in space. Even you know that Diana! It’s loads of fun- there’s death, possible court martials, probably could be in jail if not for the Spectre thing going on, but hey - we’re here now right?” - Testimony of Jeff “Joker” Moreau for Battlespace

Side B: “She can be an ass sometimes. No, not when we fought - you heard that Diana? No I just meant, - no not the one with EDI, God no, Shepard was a saint there. - stop interrupting me, I meant there was this one time she came into the cockpit and just stood there. For I don't even know how long, then EDI started popping in and out, and the Commander wasn’t even taking notice of it, just watching me, and it was so creepy. Just as I was gonna ask her what the deal was she decided to scare the shit out of me. I swear the flickering of the cockpit lights was EDI laughing.” -Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau on Commander Shepard as he waves his hands exaggeratingly so.

##  **My Fish Will Want For Nothing**

Shepard didn’t expect the line to be long, but to her surprise she also didn’t expect to be treated to a quick entrance. She sheepishly walked down the other aisle, intentionally avoiding the gaze of everyone who was lined up after her - waiting for their turn to be seated. The looks of which ranged from mere shock to actual daggers. 

‘I didn’t think I’d needed armor in a place like this.’ she mused as she was greeted and attended by the doorman. She flashed him a thankful smile as she headed towards a waving Joker, sitting by the end of the table. 

“Can you believe it? Who would have thought it would only take saving the galaxy twice to get a table here.” Joker laughed as he greeted Shepard. “This place has it all, the fish - the French -French guy at the door, great seats and look at that line. Wew. It’s good to be heroes.” he toasted to himself. 

“How’s everyone? The Normandy?”

“It’s only been a couple of hours Commander, I’m sure they’re doing fine, shooting or resting or biotically flaying someone alive with their mind - that kind of thing.” he laughed as he called a waiter to send out the appetizer. “The ship is well, you know the maintenance stuff, still, I don’t like them handling my - I mean your ship. EDI is actually there, staring down at them.” 

“Tell her to take it easy, they might get too intimidated, and we get stranded here for longer than necessary.”

“I’m sure that won’t be a bad thing-- can I get another drink? With an umbrella this time?” he called out to the nearby waiter. Shepard smiled at him “I’m the first human spectre, I’ll get you two umbrellas.” 

“Awesome power boss, you can make it two drinks as well.” Joker once again turned to face the Commander who was now finishing up her appetizer. “You could have told me before going down the Normandy you wanted me to date you here Commander, I could have gotten a reservation earlier, and maybe changed into something nicer but then again as heroes-” 

“What? I didn’t ask for a date?” she questioned. 

“No not a date. I mean - your email said you were going to say something important?” 

“I didn’t send an email.”

Confusion settled on both their faces until an alliance officer named ‘Maya Brooks’ got their attention. Shepard inwardly grimaced but listened in on what she had to say. 

“This better be important, soldier-” she started. 

“I’m not exactly a soldier commander, I have a desk job and - I’m a Staff Analyst so no Field jo-” she was cut off by Joker’s cough. “Oh right, okay,” she took a deep breath. Shepard schooled her features, it seems like it was something heavy. 

“There are people trying to kill you.” Brooks said with utmost concern.

Shepard blinked, unable to say anything until Joker wasn’t able to handle himself and chuckled. “I guess they can get in line? It’s nothing new.” 

“No, it’s not Cerberus, or the Reapers, or - someone is trying to hack your account Commander, personal account.”

Now that was new information. “I’m not that well off-” she started saying before Brooks shook her head “It’s not that Commander there’s also the communication logs, activity. They’re specifically targeting you.”

Shepard sighed, “I hope it’s not because of the Tiberius apartment.” she said. Joker looked at her funny before she waved her hand. “Later. Alright Brooks, discuss away.” she said as she laid her elbows on the table.

Just as Shepard did set her elbows on the table did she hear a commotion by the front door. Armored men came in and from the looks of the French guy, they didn’t have a reservation. 

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight’s performance is brought to you by random acts of violence. Now boys, spread out and find me Shepard.”

Bullets flew and the people scattered and hid, Shepard quickly helped Joker down and turned the table sideways to protect themselves as the mercs started to move.

“Joker, are you alright?” Shepard asked, losing the playfulness and going on soldier mode. 

“Ouch, my pancreas.” was the only thing Joker could reply as he scrunched down and tried his best to keep hidden.

They suddenly heard Brook’s voice as she was dragged away by one of the soldiers. “The Alliance outfit gave it away huh Commander?” Joker jeered before getting a ‘business’ look from Shepard “Alright, angry face... sorry not the time.”

“Damn it, Joker, find the crew, tell them what’s happening.” 

Joker nodded and stood up as fast as he could. “Find the crew got it.”

He made it to the back door til a mercenary spotted him “Hey!” the armored man said, what he didn't notice was Commander Shepard and the merc found himself tackled on the floor and hit with a very strong biotic punch. 

“You used me as bait!” Joker said as he looked back at her, his face in total aghast. 

“Move!” came the commander's reply, not in any mood to defend herself.

“You used me as bait! You guys see that? The Savior of the Citadel uses brittle bones guy as bait!” Joker continued as his voice moved further away.

Shepard should have never trusted this shore leave, she was in a dress, a long one at that, and with no gun. “Thank the Maker for biotics.” she said as she bit her lips and searched the merc for his weapon. The pistol didn’t look like much, and she didn’t exactly have any thermal clip on hand. “Better make every shot count then.” 

“Brooks!” Shepard called

“I’m here!” the Staff Analyst replied.

“Stay down!” Shepard commanded as she made quick work with the mercenaries. 

Shepard admired the gun, it was quick to shoot and actually was pretty strong, especially the headshots, it was precise. Which was a good thing, because biotically she was feeling drained - before she left the Normandy she didn't have a chance to eat - and now that she was in a restaurant, she could only lament the fact that she didn't finish the bread being offered as appetizer.

Quickly, she found Brooks laying by the entrance of the restaurant and Shepard went to heal her - Without much leeway in time, a sniper laser found its way to her chest, and before Shepard could do anything, she felt a forceful shove as Brooks saved her life - there was also not enough time to react as she felt bullets pierce the floor she was on and then there it was - 

“I don’t deserve this!” Shepard shouted at nothing in particular as she found herself falling down like a flopping fish. She was able to halt her landing a few times but ultimately felt her body slap down the floor. “My fish get the best treatment, I don’t deserve this.” Shepard groaned as she picked herself up and looked around, tons of fish were flopping beside and above her, she felt bad, and then she felt worst as she winced. She could feel herself getting weak, the weight of the water on her soaked clothes, the sting in her eyes and the small glass shards she knew she had on her body and the fact she fell from such a height was painful. “I’m never going out without armor ever again.”

With a shake of her hand, her omnitool appeared “At least shields still work.” she sighed as she picked herself up and angrily tore her dress to make walking easier. They were going to pay, she loved this dress.

At least Brooks was still in her ear and Shepard was glad the staff analyst made it out fine, the medigel helped Brooks, maybe a bit too much from what was going at the comms. At the very least Shepard had someone to guide her. The character moved around the back alley, navigating through ladders and trying not to notice the people who saw her - or to get annoyed by the VI drone that was telling her to get out of a closed off area. 

“Yeah, yeah.” she sneered at the drone, half tempted to shoot it. As she went inside the open door and felt herself in a chill. “I’m wet, and cold. Wonderful.” She proceeded to enter inside and gave a ‘hey’ back at the chilling Salarian. Shepard rubbed her hands and climbed the ladder towards the rooftops. 

Shepard noticed the other people reacting to the lock down, and proceeded to hide, hoping that none of the mercs were there. She was right though, there was no merc, they were all in the locked market area - the place where she was supposed to go. Just her luck, her gun is going to die, and she was going to die and -

“Hey, there’s Shepard!” one of the mercs said as they spotted her. 

She proceeded to attack them as she tried her best to maintain cover. 

“I really should wear armor.”


	4. Lover to the Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Having a bad day, Shepard?"

#  **Liara’s Interview:**

Side A: “Shepard is love, Shepard is life. -- Why are you all laughing- I… Joker how dare you. You said this was… Everyone---? Let’s do this again Diana please. What it’s all live?! By the goddess... ” - Testimony of Dr. Liara T’soni for Battlespace - scratched off as howling laughter from the human crew can be heard.

Side A, Take 2: “Now that I do think about it, Shepard is love and she is life. In my one hundred and nine years of living, yes I know short for an Asari, but still, Shepard has taught me and I am sure many others about how it is to love - themselves, others - even those of other species, and their countries and ideals. Her life is one to look up to, a hero in all our eyes. I love her and I would love her for all eternity. ” - Testimony of Dr. Liara T’soni for Battlespace, heavily edited to remove lingering snickers and then ‘awws’ at her ending note.

Side B: “How dare you all make me embarrass myself. Is this a human thing? Because yes, off the record Shepard is also one to play up the… pranks as they call it. I honestly thought that hugging was a human camaraderie trait as just during our first ever conversations she then started to hug me, saying it was a form of friendship. After - when I was talking to Lt Kalenko I hugged him and every member of the Normandy during a specific lunch time because I wanted them to see me as a friend - well, by the goddess the embarrassment was --- well I didn’t know it was supposed to be reserved for - friendlier friends. Shepard did come in the nick of time before I had to face more embarrassment. Her laughter with no trace of teasing as she went ahead and still embraced me in front of everyone. ‘Silly, I meant it though, I wanted to be friends with you.’ she said it with such… tone, my blush of embarrassment actually ended up being something more. -- Come to think of it, Specialist Traynor also hugged me the first time we met, though she did ask for permission first.” - Dr Liara T’soni as she recollects many nuances from her past -Note: Side B ended up getting too long that the Doctor continued on talking even though the tape had stopped.

##  **Lover To The Rescue**

Shepard had just finished battling the first wave of enemies when her comm went online. 

“Shepard, are you alright? Joker told me what happened.” came Liara’s voice - Shepards heart just about melted and she was glad that there was no visible merc nearby. Liara talking, always made Shepard swoon. It was why she went in and couldn’t help but get a hug early on during their first conversations and why Shepard spent an absurd amount of time getting to know the Asari. It was a damn long time as well, given how the asari was the real thing when she said that she had little to no contact of the outside world apart from researching Prothean ruins.

The Commander smiled as she placed a new thermal clip in and headed out to open space, the thought of Liara carrying her along the way. “Hey beautiful, I’m fine but I need backup.”

“Shepard please… “It was obvious Liara was blushing, even though the Asari was already almost three years in the life of being an information broker - and now _The Shadow Broker_ , Liara had maintained the innocence of a blushing 106 year old maidan, which wasn't that bad - after all Liara was still very young for an asari. “Joker explained what happened, I’m on foot. By the goddess I’m glad you’re alright -” her voice was suddenly interrupted. 

“Excuse me, who is this? You’re on an unsecured channel and _you’re putting Commander Shepard in danger_!” Shepard heard Maya Brooks on the line, a part of Shepard felt grated by the voice, kinda haughty if she said so herself, but with the situation and how it was Brooks who found out about all this, Shepard just focused on the new mercs that suddenly appeared. 

“In danger? Who is this.” Shepard could hear Liara ask, though her tone now was much more unfriendly. This was not going to go well. 

Shepard released a biotic attack as she spoke “Hang on, Joker mentioned Staff Analyst Brooks, yeah? That’s her.” The non reply from either side was not reassuring. “Everybody play nice.” she commanded before firing another well placed shot between one of the engineer mercs eyes,

Shepard then found herself in front the bridge that would take her to the other side, using her Spectre codes it was easy enough to bypass the C-Sec lock, of course it took another skill set of being a Spectre to get past the new wave of mercs that seemed to know where the hell she was at every given point. 

“Shepard! What are you doing? I heard that from here!” came Liara’s voice again on the comm. Shepard's smile turned into a grimace, she was getting weaker now. She didn’t need Liara to hear the waver in her voice. “It’s all under control!” she replied as she hid behind the plants and projected another biotic attack, letting the mercs fall in the chasm below. 

“Alarms are going off across the wards, what’s happening?”

“Nothing, just making things interesting,” Shepard grimaced again, she really needed the back up fast, and with Liara talking, let’s just say that even though her voice soothes the soul, the physical pain speaks for something else. Shepard was getting drained - but the distance of the chasm wasn't going to be easy with just a pistol - and her biotics though accurate on far distances was making her start to ache.

“We need to sit down and have a chat about your methods, darling.” Shepard could hear the chastise in her voice and gave a little laugh as Liara continued. “I’ll meet you at Cision Motors, Brooks sent me the navpoint. What do we know about the mercenaries?” 

“Uh, they have guns and they don’t like me?” Shepard tried to laugh again, although this time she found that she couldn't.

“Not helping.”

Honestly, Shepard loved bantering with her the loveliest blue in her life, but with the exertion and the pain, it wasn’t getting easier on her body. This time though when Brooks interrupted, Shepard had to give out a silent thanks. 

“Commander?” Brooks said “It would be great if you could stay off the comms.” Shepard dragged a hand across her face, ‘I’m retracting my thanks.’ “Hey, they called me.”

Finally, the comms died down and she was able to attack the last few guards before heading towards Cision Motors. As the Commander readied her gun for the two mercs in the shop, she had to stop when she realized they were targeting someone else and just as she entered, Shepard’s heart jumped to her throat.

Liara emerged from one of the cars and hit the two mercs cleanly with her biotics. Shepard cocked her gun down as she watched the asari sway her hips - deliberately, as obvious as it was - and put her hands on the tantalizing shapely body part.

“Having a bad day Shepard?” Liara teased as the biotic glow around her subdued. 

Shepard kept her gaze towards the asari as she walked towards her “You could say that.” she smirked as she went in closer. Liara stood her ground though the hands on her hips moved as she spoke “Landing pad is over there -- mmffph” 

Her voice was cut off as Shepards strong arms enveloped her, one hand on the back of her neck while the other snaked across her waist and the Commander’s lips crashed on hers. Liara smiled as she melted into the kiss, using her own hands to glide along Shepards body as it stopped against the small of Shepard’s back. Just as Shepard went in to deepen the kiss, Liara felt the strong hands loosen it’s hold. The Commander placed her forehead on hers before moving it towards the asari’s neck. Liara’s skin tingled as Shepard breathed in deep. “Got any medi-gel? And maybe another gun?” Shepard whispered with a small nip at the blue throat, letting her voice waver as the asari tried to hold a gasp. A gasp of arousal that turned into embarrassment.

“Oh Goddess, yes here - no gun though, even I forgot my own. Shore leave and short notice and all.“ Liara said with a tinge of guilt. Shepard took the offered medi-gel and felt better immediately, she at least had the strength, if not the full fuel, to use her biotics again. With a smirk, the Commander gave Liara a quick peck before moving onwards “Thanks beautiful. Let’s find the control panel.” The Commander went back and took another pistol from the merc and threw it at Liara.

Liara blushed, as she still stood on her spot, “I like your outfit, you look rugged,” she purred before shaking her head - obviously scandalized with herself before blushing harder “right, control panel.” she moved past Shepard but not before hitting the Commander on the bicep “Stop flustering me.” 

Shepard shook her head and smiled. Liara was lucky she was so adorable and that they were in the middle of a fight or they both would definitely find themselves in a more flustered position. 

“Any news on the team?” Shepard asked as they walked towards the Cision Motors office. “They’re still on the way, but Garrus said they wouldn’t be far. I was lucky enough to have been en route here-”

“Why, missed me that fast you wanted to see me?” Shepard quipped with a twinkle in her eye.

“Well yes, but also no-” Liara laughed as she looked at Shepards suddenly sulking expression. Liara loved this beautiful human. She was the world to her and these little expressions always made her day. Liara pressed a small kiss on Shepards cheek as they reached the glass panel of the office. 

“Stand back” Shepard said, readying her gun to shoot the window. 

“Shepard, we really need to talk about your methods” Liara chastised again as she moved towards the glass and knocked on the window “Hello, can you please open the gate?” she said sweetly to what seemed to be a Volus on the other side.

They both turned as the gate opened and Liara said a thank you to the guy, she looked at Shepard with an ‘I told you so look’ before sauntering towards the gate. “I could have done that.” the Commander pouted. 

They both walked towards the opened gate- deciding to wait in front for the c-sec car.

“You know Shepard, I heard you fell from a fish tank?” Liara said, giving a playful nudge to her beloved.

“We’ll talk about it later.” Shepard replied, her voice serious even though a grin crept on her lips.

“A shame, maybe next time you go somewhere fancy, I’ll be invited?” The asari gave the commander puppy dog eyes, lightening the situation up.

Shepard shook her head as a full smirk came to play - “I said we’ll talk about it later.”

They waved the C-Sec car came into view, they were both ready to get in when the door opened and revealed a merc crew. 

“Of all the motherfuckin-” Shepard started as she dragged Liara to cover just in time for the guns to start firing at them.

It was with pure luck that suddenly they heard a crash and a very familiar cry above them, Shepard looked up and saw a very big and very red Krogan falling straight from the sky. Peeking through the covers, both females watched as Urdnot Wrex thrashed the C-sec shuttles and the mercs inside.


	5. Krogan On Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insert Krogan. Insert Squad.  
> Lots of teasing and relationship building.  
> A little glimpse of smut and fun stuff.

#  **Wrex’s Interview:**

Side A: “*grunts* Shepard. Sheeeepaaard. Shepard’s a true krogan friend. She helped set me straight you know, we’ve been through a lot together *laughs* could have killed me back in Virmire, but I’m sure I could have taken her on. *laughter continues*. But seriously, Shepard’s a hero. When this is all over? I’ll make sure all Krogan knows her name, one of my children will have her name, we’ll build a statue of her in Tuchanka, smaller than mine of course. Humans are still puny anyways.” - Testimony of Urdnot Wrex for Battlespace

Side B: “*laughter continues* Ehhh I remember Shepard tried to set me up in one of her pranks. Back then she always had one of those little gag things and everytime we shook hands there was this little buzzer that shot out electricity or something. It doesn’t hurt no, but I gotta say, it comes as a shock when you don’t expect it. Had to admire her though, she knew I could crush her puny human hand but she took it like a champ. Thing is, when she did it back in Tuchanka when she was working with Cerberus, I forgot about it entirely. It has been two years, and what do you know? Little twerp did it again! Course this time I had to keep up appearances with the other Krogan, I’m sure she needed medigel for her hand that time.” - Urdnot Wrex, still laughing and making fun of Shepard’s squished hand.

##  **Krogan on Board**

“Wrex!” Shepard greeted as she opened her arms wide at the Krogan “You’re a literal angel from the sky, raining down pointy things and your ass on these mercs. What are you doing here?” 

Wrex took a step back and looked at her hands with squinty eyes. 

“Not today my man.” she laughed as she enveloped the Krogan in a hug. Remembering that Wrex was now always on guard with her and her surprise shock hands. 

“Ugh.” Wrex replied as he conceded to the hug. “Just butting heads with the council regarding Krogan expansion.”

Shepard released her hold on the Krogan as Wrex handed her a heavy assault rifle from one of the unconscious mercs. 

No sooner than they had all caught their breaths did they hear a crash from inside Cision motors and throngs of mercenaries jumped from the ceiling and started gunning at them. 

“Shepard, we got a way out of here?” Wrex asked as he directed to charge towards the oncoming mercs. 

“Wrex please, I’m Commander Shepard.” 

“That’s not a yes!” 

“It’s not a no!”

“Very funny smartass.” Wrex replied as he grabbed a merc and shoved the guy on one of the car displays. Shepard could hear the Volus inside the office groan a loud ‘Noooooo’ as the car went up in flames.

Before Shepard could reply about backup, Liara piped in as she threw a singularity upon the incoming mercs. “Joker’s inbound, I’ll patch you in our comms Wrex.”

“ETA One minute-” Joker said through the comms as the connection ended. 

The mercs seemed never ending in that one minute of the fight and they were all glad that Joker did come just in the nick of time. Wrex took one last shot at the merc, letting another car explode.

“Let’s hope they have insurance.” Shepard told Liara as she took the asari’s hand and helped her up the getaway car.

“Where we headed Commander?” Joker asked as he turned towards the group as he navigated back into main traffic “Hey Wrex.” he called once he saw the Krogan.

“We can head back to Tiberius Towers. Joker, Drop us off and you can round up the others.”

“Sure thing Commander... and Shepard.” Joker called back, his face unhappy as he looked Shepard straight in the eyes. “We’re going to talk about that bait thing later ok.”

Shepard flashed him a big smile as Liara turned to look at her beloved inquisitively. Shepard recalled the tale of what happened, leaving Wrex cackling while LIara tried very hard to stifle a smile.

“Wasn’t funny.” Joker replied as he heard the team react.

The group was then dropped off at the apartment, Shepard, together with her two squad mates and Brooks proceeded to enter.

“So anyone gonna tell me what’s going on here?” Wrex asked as he went straight towards one of the chairs to sit down. It creaked beneath him.

“We can use the gun you found -” Liara injected “try to find a trace where it came from and see from there.” 

“Well you can try-” shrugged Brooks. “I should warn you, I’ve been digging pretty deep and haven’t come up with anything.” 

Liara looked coolly at the Alliance staff - remembering her haughty manner from before “I’m sure you have.” 

Shepard looked at Liara, then back at Brooks. The situation still didn’t seem okay between the two, “Alright, enough of that, Liara is pretty good at this Brooks, so let’s let her do her magic.” Shepard moved to stand beside the asari as she snaked her arm around the blue alien's waist.

“Liara’s on point then, what about the rest of your crew?” Wrex asked.

“That’s right, what about the rest of those slackers?” came Joker’s voice as the doorway opened. 

“Hey Joker, stopped slacking?” Shepard greeted as she slapped the helmsman’s shoulder. 

“I actually found people who liked getting shot at.” 

The door opened again and in came all of Shepard's squad.

“Permission to come aboard, Shepard?” came in the vibrating sub vocals of her best friend - Shepard gave a big smile as she gave embraced the Turian that came in. She greeted everyone else before laying down the information. 

“Keelah what a place!” Tali cooed as she looked in wonder at the room. “And only Admiral Anderson would have stayed here?” 

“No, he was supposed to be with someone else, but with everything that happened - he gave it to me as a gift, I mean…” at Tali’s squeal Shepard shook her head. “I do owe him though - gotta always win against something. 

Garrus laughed at that “Well, with what you’re getting I’m sure winning against something is easy enough. We’ve had a lot of practice after all.” 

As the short briefing ended, everyone went on their merry way to get comfortable in the apartment. Shepard walked towards Liara who was now busy with three datapads in front of her. 

“Hey,” she called.

“Hey Liara” she tried again. It was impossible to get Liara’s attention sometimes. Though it wasn’t a bad thing as Shepard was usually content starting at the love of her life do her own thing. 

Looking left and right Shepard tried again to get the asari’s notice by going behind her and grabbing the asari’s breasts with her hands.

It earned her a delightful squeal.

“Shepard please!” cried Liara as her cheeks turned into a darkshade of purple.

Shepard could hear a groan from behind and she guessed it was Ashley who was making a face showing Kaidan and Tali that she was up to her tricks again. From somewhere above she could hear a snicker and could, as if see the obvious fluttering of Garrus’ mandibles as he tried to hide a laugh. 

“You are incorrigible.” Liara said toning her voice down. 

“If you didn’t scream so loud I wouldn’t have been caught.” Shepard mused as she gave the asari a nibble near her ear.

That earned her a nice moan.

“I can’t work like this you know, and this is important.”

“I know, I really just needed to get your attention, why don’t you work in the office? It’s easier than standing up here.” 

“Shepard, when you visit me at the Normandy I am always standing up-”

“Well, you weren’t holding three datapads up I’m sure.”

“Point taken.” Liara surrendered as she picked up the datapads and called Glyph to accompany her. She gave the Commander a small kiss on the cheek again. “Don’t follow Shepard, or I’ll never get this done.” The Commander pouted, earning another kiss before finally letting the asari go.

She walked up to her team in the living room, Tali, Kaidan, Ashley, Joker and James were there, Tali looking out the window, Ashley relaxing on the sofa adjacent to Joker, Kaidan perusing the book and James standing in front of the counter.

“Didn’t get your way Commander?” Ashley teased as she watched Shepard walk towards the Quarian. 

Shepard just stuck her tongue out at the Lt Commander before turning towards Tali and striking up a conversation. 

Tali’s eyes never looked away from the bustling outside. “Back during my Pilgrimage I used to walk around near that sushi place and watch the fish through the window. I knew they’d never let me inside, but I told myself someday, when I’ve proven my worth to the galaxy, I’ll go there for dinner… and then, you broke their floor.” finished Tali as her face now moved to stare at Shepard. If ever there was a top ten moments of Tali looking at something menacingly behind her helmet, this was one of it.

“Do they even have food you can eat in there?” Shepard said with a sheepish smile. 

“Not the point, Shepard.” That earned a laugh from the nearby group, most noticeable from Garrus. Shepard looked up and gave him a face before turning back towards the quarian. “I’ll treat you somewhere nice yeah? When this is all over, promise.” 

Shepard saw Tali’s eyes roll. “Sure Shepard, make sure it’s good.” As fast as the eye roll came, Tali moved to face her and the quarian went in for a hug. “I am glad you're okay though. We all got worried, even though I know you can hold yourself, I still worry. It won’t be easy to forgot I was once called vas Normandy if something happens to you after all” 

Shepard returned the embrace. She was glad Tali was a part of the team, and everything went well with the quarians. Losing Legion was already a hell of a ride, to think that she only knew the geth for so little and he already meant so much to her. If it was Tali? That would be devastating. Shepard let the thought fly off as she returned the embrace, “I’m glad to have you on the team Tali, as family.” 

They broke the hug and Shepard continued on to greet the other members of her squad. Going to the bar area where she saw EDI and Cortez. “Commander” they both greeted amicably.

EDI looked at her and stood up from the couch. “Do you perhaps require a tailoring?” she asked, noticing the jagged tearing of the dress. 

Shepard smiled, EDI was all kinds of great, she wasn’t all that used to the nuances of humans feelings, but just like Legion, it seemed that she was going to do alright. “Maybe later if that’s possible? You can let me know after the whole shebang.”   
  
The AI nodded returning to sit on the couch and converse with the shuttle pilot. Shepard moved to climb the stairs before she took a peek at the busy asari from the side of the stair landing, Liara didn’t even look up. With an internal shrug, the Commander proceeded to visit her other team mates.

“Commander.” started Javik, as he saw her “in my cycle when we fled combat by falling through tanks containing aquatic animals we usually - Oh, right, we never did! You are a trailblazer!” At Javik’s laugh Shepard could feel her own cheeks burn. She always appreciated the Protheans banter, always giving as good as it gets and despite the rough start they had Shepard truly liked his quips - but preferably not always about her. Again she could hear Wrex laughing animatedly, but what really took the cake was she could hear Garrus laughing again.

“Hey!” she cried out “Shut up Garrus!” that made the Turian laugh louder. 

Shepard made another face as she jogged down towards the office area, Liara was still busy on the datapads and given that Glyph didn’t greet her this time, it seemed he was doing some pretty heavy load, researching. 

“Did the big mean Prothean hurt your feelings?” Liara cooed at her, not raising her head to look at Shepard. 

Shepard nodded her head as if Liara could see her. “You heard that?” She proceeded to sit on the drawer side of the table, positioning herself on the floor in the middle of Liara and the wall. “Javik can be a piece of shit.” she said as she looked up towards the busy asari. She could see Liara’s lips curls into a smile. 

“I didn’t quite follow, but his laugh was very obvious. I’m sure he learned from the best you know.” 

“That makes me jealous, you, knowing all about his laugh. But you have been neck deep in the Protheans for fifty years, how am I to exceed that?” She said dramatically, earning a sweeter smile from the asari. “How’s the data going?” The human asked as she moved her hand towards the asari’s legs. Shepard then noticed that she didn’t have her leg shield anymore and her trench coat shield had lengthened to be able to decently hide her skin if she decided to stand up. 

Liara felt tingles upon her skin as Shepard caressed her legs languidly. It always felt relaxing, and at this moment she was glad Glyph and her were almost done. “Almost done, I’ve collated every possible source and now Glyph is just running variations. He should be done soon.” she said, her breath hitching at the end as Shepard’s fingers continued on their caresses.

Closing the datapads in front of her, Liara looked down and saw Shepard’s head set upon her thighs. Her beautiful hair striking against her own blue skin. Liara placed her hand on the human’s head, caressing the thin locks.

“Shepard…” she breathed. 

Shepard hummed as her lips joined in the caress. Soft fluttering lips languidly moving up towards the tops of her thighs and then trailing kisses towards their knees. Liara sighed until she had to let out a laugh. She was always ticklish when her knees were noticed.

Shepard moved into a kneeling position as she slowly opened the asari’s legs and swerved her to face the wall. “I missed you.” the Commander breathed as she placed one blue leg on her shoulder. 

“It’s only been a few hours.” Liara said, trying to hold in her gasps.

“It was yes, but it’s been a while since I had the pleasure of doing this.” Shepard smiled wickedly as she lifted Liara’s other leg and proceeded to blow a raspberry directly on Liara’s ‘azure’. 

Scandalized, and teased, Liara couldn’t help but let out a gasp, she would have quickly hit the offending person but Shepard knew just in time how to save her own ass, and without missing a beat, Liara could feel the delicious sensation of a warm human tongue caressing her, a thin cloth covering her most private areas.

“Darling.. Please.” Liara gasped again as she debated whether to hold her partner’s head in place. 

“Dr. T’soni I have finished the calculation in our variables.” came Glyphs ever so chipper tone.

Liara sighed, she knew it was too good to be true and she silently scolded herself for getting too into the act and forgetting about the time. Moreso because now she knew she was aching but duty had to come first. 

“Shepard…I told you not to bother me” she started to say as she could feel her leg being brought down. “Can you call everyone? I’ll just run a call and I’ll be outside.” Liara watched as Shepard’s head continued to lay low, Liara wondered if she would continue, they both knew they wanted it, but duty usually did come first. With a delicate movement of Shepards head, Liara watched as the Commander placed another kiss down below before coming up to kiss her on the lips. 

Liara leaned into the kiss, it was soft, feather-like “You know I'm never a bother, babe." Shepard said as she smiled at her partner softly. She saw a blue hand hold it's palm up and Shepard placed her cheek on the offered hand. I’m sure we’ll find some night of peace, darling.” Liara cooed as she then moved her thumb to caress the cupped cheek. 

Shepard sighed, letting herself melt for a moment. “Before I die preferably.”

That earned the Commander a pretty heavy smack on the shoulder.


	6. Debriefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first group meeting with the team regarding the Casino Infiltration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter in understandable as it's the first time I have to write about multiple people talking in one sitting. As a ME player it's easy enough to context clues who's talking where, but I tried my best to make it work somehow without always repeating the 'said'.
> 
> I'm sure the other more nuanced writers would know this, but hey gotta start somewhere.
> 
> ALSO! To Dragon Age fans and the like, I have lots of little easter eggs and idk, stuff even in the previous chapters. Hope you like them ( even if a bit out of lore lol). I'll try to integrate them better, as good as a Krogan head in the Winter Palace or an Ogre in Hock's vault XD

#  **Garrus’s Interview:**

  
Side A: “Hmm, Shepard is formidable. A leader, I don’t know about you, but to have a Turian, a Quarian, an Asari and a Krogan work and become friends? Then two years later have Cerberus and Alliance people not shoot each other on sight? Salarians, more Krogans, an Asari Justicar, a Drell Assassin, an awesome Turian sharpshooter, a Geth, a Quarian, an enemy turned friend AI who now has a body? I mean you don’t see that everyday. Or maybe ever. So for Shepard to be able to bring this not-always-so-merry- band of misfits together says everything I could ever hope to say. She’s like that. And don’t tell her? But she’s my hero .” - Testimony by Garrus Vakarian for Battlespace

Side B: “I’m guessing Shepard will hate me for this but yeah I could spill the most of her dirty secrets. I don’t only have the best eyes in the team, I also have the best ears, so yeah I usually know when Shepard is up to her tricks. I’ve also walked in on some of it. Not because I was interested in how it would turn out of course- uhm, - yeah dug myself a hole there. Hmm? If I had to spill one?.... Oh uh….. Maybe not.” Suddenly Garrus’ mandibles started fluttering, hard. Will have to ask for more information. Maybe when drunk?

##  **Debriefing**

“We have a lead.” 

Liara announced to the table her findings, everyone was standing at attention in their usual places, same in the Normandy whey they were discussing in the meeting room - though now Brooks was added and stood fronting Shepard.

“So we’re going to go and confront a smuggler?” asked Joker.

“Yeah, that’s going to be our lead to find the identity thief. Any way to work on that voice disguise?” Shepard looked at the rest of the crew who seemed to be the most knowledgeable on tech.

“It’s possible, but not in the time frame we need Shepard, those things are a pain in the ass to get around.” Garrus offered.

“Alright, any other ideas? You get anything from the mercenaries who tagged us babe?” the Commander asked, facing Liara.

“They are a private corporation group called CAT6, as you may know are dishonorable discharges. With their history, it’s no doubt they were hired by our thief than by Khan.”

“The phone call was pretty damning stuff, how did you get around to it?” Shepard remembered that just before she left the asari, that Liara said she had a call to make, if it was this call, well, leave it to Liara to get back to business as soon as she was able to.

“It involved a weapons biometric data, salarian intelligence and a hanar prostitute with camera implants.” Liara stopped to see her Commander’s reaction before continuing “all while the real camera was done via a pleasure service from a commanding officer down in Azure.” here Liara couldn’t help but share a sly smile. 

A groan could be heard from a few members of the squad, noticeably Joker, Garrus, Ashley and Tali. 

“Really Shepard? And you were just talking to us not a few minutes ago.” Kaidan added.

Wrex stifled another grunt before shaking his head slowly. “You’re a bad influence Shepard.” 

Brooks looked at the group wide eyed before clearing her throat. “Uh? Ahem?” she squeaked.

“Oh yeah right, focus, people.” Shepard commanded, her tone focusing back on the mission, but not before slapping Liara, a good one in the rear which caused the asari to yelp. 

It took the group to collectively shout ‘Shepard / Commander - please' at the display.

“Okay, so this Khan person didn’t seem to be too thrilled about our thief? Think we can ask him about it?” Shepard started.

“Would be nice if it was easy for a change.” Tali supplied, earning nods for a few members. 

Liara looked at her datapad before speaking “Khan might, but with what had happened it would get terribly difficult to try and get a hold of him. He would most likely hole himself up in the panic room in the casino. EDI could give us programs to hack the door, but the cameras and personnel would be a different problem entirely.”

“Yeah, Khan could disappear or worse, if the guards opened fire, normal people could get hurt. Like I did.” Brooks added.

“Alright then, we go in, small team, no gunplay.” Shepard was about to strategize for the team when the blue ball that was Glyph emerged from the middle of the meeting table. “Dr T’Soni, this evening the casino will be holding a charity event to assist the war refugees.”

“Purchase some tickets Glyph, then please pull up a layout of the casino.”

“Certainly Doctor.” 

The blue ball disappeared and in place showed the map of the casino they were to infiltrate.

“Score!” cheered Joker “So how would you get in the panic room? I’m assuming it’s not going to have any back doors and all.”

EDI took a moment to look at the layout before adding. “There is a shaft here that ends up in the storage area. From there, the panic room’s door and camera can be disabled allowing easy access.”

“Who will go in the shaft? They have to be small in size.” said Javik with his usual stoic demeanor.

“Not me, I’ve had a lot of varren legs lately.” supplied Wrex, earning a snicker from Garrus.

The team turned to look at Tali, she shook her head. “I suspect my built in suit will trigger the alarms that are usually in the obvious places for infiltration.” 

Then all eyes turned to EDI “My presence in the casino would arouse suspicion. Mechs are not allowed since they can have cheating software.”

Kaidan interjected then “But that body infiltrated the base on Mars right?”

“That is correct Major Alenko, unfortunately this body does not have the required components to make it look human in the time we will need to get to Khan.” 

“She’s right, amigo” James nodded “from what I remember Doc told me, that Eva Core had hair, and skin, and looked like a real human.”

“What you need is someone trained in zero emission software, no electronics, no metals -” Brooks started before Shepard slammed her hand on the table with a triumphant smile on her face.

“That's it then, Brooks, you’re in.”

“Wait - what?”

“You said it yourself. And don’t worry, we’ll back you up.” Commander Shepard said with a shrug, even though her movements were lighthearted enough, everyone in the room knew that it was a tone that shouldn’t be backed down upon. 

Liara moved her hand and the layout of the ship disappeared from the table. “If that’s all, there’s one more hurdle we have to face.”

“And what’s that?” Shepard asked, turning to look at the asari. 

“Black tie required.”

“Nothing is ever easy.” Tali sighed. Earning earnest nods for everyone in the group.

The members of the Normandy went their separate ways after that. Shepard mewled like a toddler when she realized she had to dress up again. “I just wore - and got my favorite most comfortable dress torn Liara.” she sighed.

“I’m sure you’ll find a way darling.” Liara laughed as she gave her cheek a kiss. “I’ll be heading off for a while, need a tie up a few important strings, I’ll meet you by the casino - surely I’m your date?” the asari inquired, a challenge on her look. 

That made Shepard break down into a laugh. “Of course babe, I mean… I could always take Javik - ow!” She would have continued if not for the asari’s elbow to her ribs.

“Really, and just after I told you that next time you were to dress up, it should be me you were with.” With that, Shepard watched Liara sashay her hips as she exited the apartment, with Glyph trailing along behind her.

Shepard turned to the rest of the team in the house, Garrus stayed on the top railing, watching the skyline. Joker, together with Cortez and EDI excused themselves to check on the Normandy and make sure that they were ready to leave once the ordeal and maintenance was over. Javik was together with Wrex walking in the strip and most likely intimidating everyone along their way. While Ashley and James had decided to go down to Armax Arena and pop some Cerberus skulls while at it.

That left her with Tali and Kaidan. 

“I hope you don’t mind I stay here Shepard,” Tali asked. 

“Of course not Tali, you’re like a sister to me, you can call dibs on the room on the second floor.” Tali let out a little ‘yes!’ before bounding herself upstairs. 

She turned to Kaidan “So Kaidan? Not going anywhere?”

“I thought you’d like some help.”

“You got half a scratched black tie to go with my half a dress?” Shepard asked as she lifted the hem of her dress slightly.

“Well, not exactly.” Kaidan chuckled “but why don’t you get dressed comfortably and we can head out? I’d like to show you someplace.”

“Why Major Alenko, finally have the balls to ask me out on a date have you?” Shepard replied coyly as she batted her lashes.

This made the Major laugh. “Sure Shepard, bring Garrus and Tali with you if they want to. I’ll send you the directions and meet you there, twenty minutes?” 

“Of course. See you in twenty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next few chapters are done but I'll be posting them in intervals of 24 hours - 48 hours. Probably less, I'm excited anyways. But it's better to pace myself a bit. It's not exactly turning into a short-retelling but I like how the slice of life usually goes and it's one of the things I appreciate in a story.


	7. Does It Match My Eyes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting up with Kaidan - up to before the Casino entrance/infiltration mission.  
> Tali ang Garrus get screentime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at summaries.
> 
> This is very slice of life, segway of the Citadel DLC where I believe that whatever 'nice outfit' my LI found Shepard in Cision motors *shouldnt* be the one (or looks like the one down to the necklace) Shepard is also wearing in the Casino Infiltration mission.
> 
> I mean sure, hi-tech drying is a thing but it still would be nice to have the LI act on it differently. I mean the Sheploo one looks different but the FemShep one looks pretty similar so *shrugs*

#  **Tali’s Interview:**

  
Side A: “You know, back in my Pilgrimage, I didn’t expect there to be so many humans at the Citadel. Much less getting to interact with one. Now that I look at it, I’m glad, because I pushed for an earlier Pilgrimage, I got to meet Shepard and be a part of the Normandy. Who would have imagined, me, a Quarian, to be able to be a part of this… this legend? I’ve always wanted to do great things, now i’m an Admiral, my people and the Geth are better off than we were centuries ago, the Quarians have a home - it’s all so surreal and all done in such a short amount of time. I can never thank Shepard enough. Kee’lah Selai, Commander. .” - Testimony by Tali’Zora nar Rayya / vas Neema / vas Normandy for Battlespace

Side B: “Are we done with that? Because I want my turn here. Time to call someone on air a Bosh’te-- No! Of course not, I did mean all of that, but… you are such a bosh’tet Garrus. Ah! I said it, I said it on air right? Let me say it again. I--- hmmm. You know what? I suddenly realize Shepard hasn’t done anything remotely crazy to me. *gasp* doesn’t she think I can take it? Seriously? As long as it doesn’t include vents or skin exposure I’m sure --- that bosh’tet, I’m going to go head on over to her and demand she prank me.” Tali’Zora leaving a flummoxed Diana Allers as she stomped away from the studio.

##  **Does It Match My Eyes?**

“I wish I stayed here longer during my Pilgrimage. Before all the attacks, all the unknown.” Tali remarked as she looked at the many colors that surrounded them in the Silversun strip. The trio who were left at the apartment earlier were now on their way to Kaidan. “Everything is just so colorful and mixing with each other without straining my eyes too much. The flotilla was always so… sterile and isn’t as fun as this.” 

“Doesn’t your helmet have some kind of tint?” Garrus asked “It’s not a very hi-tech problem and all.”

“Not the point Garrus, I was trying to make it fun.” 

Shepard laughed at their banter. “You know, you two would make a pretty cute couple. I don’t know why you have to hide it” She winked at them. 

“Why thank you Shepard, see Garrus? Why don’t you take me on a date? -- wait what?” Tali had already held onto Garrus’ arm before turning to Shepard, if there was ever a slack jawed quarian, it was her. Right now.

Shepard laughed as she patted Tali on the back. “We’ll, let’s just say I win. Liara and I have been raising the stakes on it, she said no and I said yes and well. I win. It’s obvious you two dig each other. You might have not noticed Tali, but going from the engineering to the main battery is a pretty far way off. You don’t need to be there in person just to give diagnostics.”

Garrus’ mandibles fluttered and Shepard laughed again. “You are so cute Garrus, big strong turian looking like that." Shepard gave the turian a friendly punch as she turned towards the other "you too Tali. I swear if it wasn’t for Liara -” 

“If it wasn’t for Liara what?” Kaidan’s voice asked from behind them. 

Shepard took a pose and raised her hand as if presenting the two dextros caught in the headlights - “The newest Normandy couple! Brought to you by yours truly of course!” Shepard took a bow “Thank you, thank you!”

“Ah you mean if it wasn’t for Liara you’d have Garrus for yourself, or Tali?”

Shepard gave a wide smile as she scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “Nah, I’d still go for the blue beauties, but don’t tell Liara that, okay you three?” 

Garrus cleared his throat and looked down, Tali’s arm was still wrapped around his. “Tali?” he asked.

“Yes Garrus?”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” 

“You know I’d be flustered but Shepard already beat you to it. To answer though, yes of course. “ Tali turned to Shepard as she whispered “This is perfect Shepard, I brought my sexiest belts just for this.”

Shepard laughed again as this time she hooked her arm around Kaidan who automatically raised his own arm to accommodate. “Lead the way Major?” she said looking up at him.

The foursome found their way in a posh looking store featuring mannequins of all possible sentient races in tuxedos. 

“They even have one for the rachni? The queen sure, but those little ones? They don’t seem very sentient.” Tali asked as she spotted a small display of a tuxedo with many holes for the arms. 

Kaidan nodded “I’m sure they do, though not in the queen size. It’s mostly for novelty if nothing else.”

“So what brings us here Kaidan?” Shepard asked as she started to peruse. “You looking for your black tie and wanna come?”

“Well that yeah, Ashley and I had already planned hitting the casino tonight before this - so why not hit two birds with one stone? Plus, I was wondering if you’d like to try and knock Liara’s socks off?” 

“Liara has socks? I don't think knocking on them makes a sound, Shepard.” Tali asked again which in turn had Shepard chuckle.

“It’s a figure of speech in Earth tongue Tali, but yeah. Kaidan you’re a lifesaver. I’ve always wanted to go out in one but never had the time to buy.”

“You know me, spectre, biotic, hero of the hero of Citadel.” Kaidan grinned. “I learn from the best. Now you wait here and I’ll just try to find the one who knows most about humans.”

Shepard watched Kaidan turn to leave and saw Tali go on ahead to look at all the different designs. Garrus stood to one side, not exactly moving from where they entered and looking very lost.

“What’s up Garrus?” Shepard asked as she strolled up to him.

“I… I asked Tali on a date.” his voice was lower than usual, the rumble in his sub vocals mixed with a trilling sound at the end which made Shepard smirk.

“Well yes, you did? I hope you meant it?” She asked with a raised eyebrow "You're my best bud Garrus, but i'm not going to forgive you that easily if you let go of your word - but I'm sure Tali can take you on."

Garrus gulped as he shook his head, “I did, I mean I do, still do. I just… I didn't expect that to come out of me. I don’t know what to do. Where to go and... shit Shepard. we have a mission tonight and I -”

“You can take her somewhere nice this evening? That would give you guys a few hours?”

“Uh. I was hoping to bunk with you-”

“Oh, no I mean. Ha! You don’t want her to think you’re that cheap anymore huh?” Shepard chuckled, getting Garrus' point that he would be staying the night in the apartment and that would mean chatting, which wasn't bad, but it seems Garrus wanted to make a different kind of presentation.

“Shepard please. That was the only wine I could afford back then alright.” Garrus replied as he remembered the wine scenario back when they were still in Cerberus.

“It’s alright Garrus my man, I have an idea. I'm your savior after all.” Shepard patted his back as she Kaidan called her up, Garrus shook his head and went straight to where Tali was looking at the vorcha tuxedo.

The group left the shop and headed back to the apartments. Garrus had slyly bought himself one without Tali noticing - thanks to Kaidan’s more than passable act of being innocent - something Shepard couldn’t do to save her life and Shepard was able to get her own set with approving looks from all her team.

“You didn’t need to buy anything for yourself Kaidan?” Tali asked as they reached the apartment. “Shepard looked very nice trying out the suits, you would have looked good.”

“No need Tali, I love wearing dress clothes, I have more than enough to last a man a lifetime.” he smiled as he sent Tali a photo of his collection via their omnitool.

“Kee’lah” Tali breathed “That has more designs that the whole quarian fleet of Rayya.”

“All right people, let’s get to fixing up,” Shepard said as she grabbed Tali’s hand “Garrus why don’t you go and help Kaidan and Tali you can help me out?”

“But-” Tali started “I really don’t think Kaidan needs any help Shepard.”

“I’m sure he does - come on and show me your belts.”

“I swear Shepard once my immunity gets better I’ll have more clothes than all of you combined.”

At this the group laughed as they went their separate ways.

“Whew” Garrus started “Shepard really does know her way out of things doesn’t she?” He said to Kaidan as they went to the spare downstairs bedroom. 

“That she does, she’s sneaky like that. Helps in a lot of situations.” The Major agreed.

Garrus picked up his tux and looked at Kaidan who was already choosing his own set “So. I don’t need to help you right?” he wondered “I mean, I don’t even know how to put the tie on properly.”

Kaidan chuckled “That was more for Tali, I’ll be the one to help you. I’m sure you can manage though, I’m not really Turian, but I’ll work on your tie.” 

On the other side of the house Shepard had finished freshening up and was now working on her clothes. Tali was on the foot of the bed looking down at multiple groups of clothing. 

“That’s a lot of belts.” Shepard said peering from Tali’s side.

“I know, and it’s so hard. I’m already sure I’m going to change my wrappings to this color - it matches his markings.” Tali said as she held up a blue wrapping, with little silver swirls - it looked the same with design as the purple she usually wore. “But I just can’t figure out the belt.”

“I can’t believe that’s the hardest problem ever but yeah I’ll get back to you once I change.”

Shepard turned back to her drawer and brought the suit out of the bag. It was amazing what technology could do really. Now clothes just needed a few minutes and bam, washed, dried and pressed. She held the sides carefully, liking how it was crisp to the touch yet inside it was soft and velvety. The inner piece was translucent, sexy even,but most of all breathable. The best thing was it was easy to remove - and - seamless. She could easily just rip off the pants and sleeves to make it easy to run without having to deal with so much on the way, but with a simple application via the omnitool she could put the pieces back together and it would look brand new again. 

She had put the tie on - which was also a voice changer - novelty type from the store, before going back to the bed and looking at Tali. “Still thinking about the belt?” she asked Tali incredulously. 

“Please Shepard, it’s not even that---” Tali took the chance at Shepard, now already fixed except for her hair which was in the process of getting fully dried. “Did I really take that long?”

“I’m amazed at this Tali, once you do get out of your suit it might take you days to figure out which shirt you’ll put on first.” Shepard joked as she went and held one of the belts.

“This looks nice.”

“You mean the one that looks like his scars?”

“Well you could always say it looks hot.”

“You don’t think I’m trying to please him too much don’t you?”

“Nah, you do you, I’m sure he’s just happy you said yes.” Shepard replied with an encouraging smile, remembering how Garrus was actually perplexed on what to do after he extended the invitation.

Tali nodded at that and decided on the belts - just in time really as Kaidan had already called them down. "You look great Tali," the commander said as she led the quarian down. "I'm sure once Garrus sees you his mandible will move no less than three times."

“Thank you Shepard. I’m sure Liara will appreciate your looking dashingly - not to mention that bosom.” she said pointing at how sheer the inside cloth was.

“Ha. That comes later, I’ll be closing this halfway up anyway - see?” She posed with the button of the tuxedo closed to show Tali. The quarian let out a low whistle. “Huh Shepard, you look really good. Really... what do they call it? Sharp. Now I understand why Kaidan has all these colors and designs for something so similar.” 

Shepard laughed as she moved to get ready to head downstairs. “Really Tali? As if the number of belts you have don't scream fashion?”

"Shut up bosh'tet."

The pair went downstairs, and it turns out, Shepard was wrong.

Garrus' mandibles only fluttered once, but it was the longest one any of them ever saw, even Tali had to brace her hand on the turians cheeck to close it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find myself having some trouble trying to write Tali. She can be very cute-- but not similar to ME1 Liara, and very much snarky in also a different way from ME3 Liara. It feels like I should write her better, but I'm going to work on that.


	8. Formal Wear Suits You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of flirting, a little pranks, add in some Garrus/Tali and affirmation of EDI/Joker and there's goes Brooks- unnoticed.
> 
> Next chapter will be fun though, a lot more... action.

#  **EDI’s Interview:**

  
Side A: “Commander Shepard is the commander of the Normandy SR-2, she was previously the XO of the Normandy SR-1 and was born on - oh? What I think personally about the Commander? She is… one moment please… She is a friend. A life-giver. She may not be the one who unshackled me but she has given me time and attention in understanding the ways of humans. Even during the time I was a rogue AI to being shackled to the Normandy and now with this body, she had always been level headed towards me and bore no ill will to my kind. I hold the Commander in very high regard and if it were not for Jeff, or the hierarchy of status, Shepard will always be my priority .” - Testimony by the Normandy’s AI, EDI for Battlespace

Side B: “I do not think I can share any times that the commander has actually ‘pranked’ me. Though she has tried many times but to no avail. She had always tried to stop her breathing during non - immediate missions on certain planets and would even have the squad make me believe she was having problems with her suit or the like. Of course being tailor fit to the Normandy and the survival of the team, I would know if it was a ruse. There was this one time though I had pranked the commander by pretending to show her visuals of her aquarium and that her fish had died. She cried. I did not do it again. Although afterward when I apologized she said she was trying to ‘one up’ me by crying so that I would be the one caught. Until now I cannot verify if this is real.” EDI, refusing to show footage of a crying Shepard.

##  **Formal Wear Suits You**

Shepard reached the casino entrance together with Kaidan who already had Ashley as his ‘date’. The duo approached the Lt Commander who was getting quite an audience with a number of people from the crowd.

“Looking good Commander, lean and mean” commented Ashley as she gave Shepard a nod of approval. “Kaidan’s taste for fine tailoring is spot on as always.” 

“You too Ash, all the PT good for something huh? That dress fits you real good,” Shepard made a show of giving Ashley finger guns which made Kaidan shake his head at the display. “In any case make sure you don’t get too smashed. Can’t have too much pleasure now when there’s business later.” 

Kaidan laughed as he took Ashley’s arm and went ahead inside . “Don’t worry Commander, I’ll be the responsible one.” 

Shepard turned to see Tali and Garrus, though they seemed to be deep in conversation and didn’t enter the casino immediately. Shepard strained slightly to hear what they were talking about.

“Damn Tali, my mandibles are on the floor! Can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.”

“Oh Vakarian, you waiting to see what’s in this suit?” 

Shepard couldn’t help but try to stifle a smirk, Garrus definitely had it in him to be both cute and dirty, and judging by Tali’s reply, she was giving as good as she got.

Shepard looked around and wondered how long it would take Liara to get there. A part of her was worried something had happened- same like the one with the Shadow Broker fiasco, but a part of her, a larger part of her was curious if Liara decided this could be a ‘date’. It was slightly nerve wracking, they’ve always been together in the Normandy, and what constituted as a date night was usually them sleeping or working. All the planetside missions were usually a little too important for the lighter things in life. 

The continuous wondering thought left Shepard staring at a blank space on the floor and when she heard the familiar tone of her beloved, she whipped her head instantaneously. 

“Shepard, you’re looking lovely tonight. Formal wear suits you.” The voice made Shepard swoon, her face turned into one of starstruck delight as her lips slowly curled upwards and her eyes softened, but as she saw what Liara was wearing well... If Garrus had his mandibles figuratively on the floor then hers was ready to join him. She let out a low whistle of appreciation as the asari walked towards her. Liara was wearing a modest neck to toe length, white dress, it had vertical black lines as design and two long arm fingerless gloves that perfectly added style to the overall wardrobe. Shepard sighed to herself, Liara wasn’t even showing much skin and she was already feeling her chest explode.

“And you look ethereal, Liara. We should always go out and do something fancy, cause wow, just wow.” Shepard said as she offered her arm to the asari.

Liara smiled, her trip to the dressers was worth it, even though the asari knew she was going to get a reaction from Shepard, she couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. It was always nice that she could be one of the reasons for Shepards happiness. “Darling… keep that up and you’ll have to catch me when I swoon.” Liara teased as she wrapped her arm around the other.

“I might do more than catch you. Damn Liara, you can’t imagine what you do to me.” The pair stopped their walk, she could see Tali and Garrus continue their way towards them through the corner of her eye. With a smirk Shepard locked her eyes with her partner before lifting up Liara’s hand and giving it a kiss, making sure to let her lips linger longer than necessary as she trailed it towards the asari’s fingers, she swirled her tongue slightly on the bare digit, not caring if anyone from the crowd saw. The commander peered up from her lashes, watching Liara’s reaction “All covered up, looking radiant except your fingers? Now I have a new fetish.”

Liara bit back a moan, she loved this side of Shepard, the daring side who wasn’t very concerned about what others think of her. The commander was already so very daring on each and every mission they were in, there was always a sense of zealousness that enveloped her when she was commanding in the cic or on the field, or when making a point to the council. It made Liara writhe inside just to see how passionate Shepard was, and oh how passion fueled her. “Oh really? We can explore that later then. Come on Shepard, get back up, I still need to stare at your handsome get up tonight.” The asari replied as she trailed a finger on Shepards collar bone, moving down towards the flimsy underclothes and settled between the valley of the humans chest. Liara lightly flicked the commander backwards before continuing to walk. 

“If anyone looks at this group tonight I don’t think it’s me they’ll be staring at.” Shepard released the asari’s hand as Garrus and Tali came up behind them. “Enjoy the show Garrus?” This earned him a quick look from Tali that made the turian bite down a choke.

“Of course not Shepard. I have my eyes trained exactly on this beautiful specimen right here.” The turian replied with giving Tali a little fanfare by wrapping his arms around her and dipping her slightly, which earned him a smack from the aforementioned quarian.

“Cut it off Garrus, I know you’re all about Shepards tricks, going from the main battery to Javik’s room in the engineering to watch him lose his head, is pretty far off for some calibrations.” Tali said, mimicking Shepard’s words earlier.

“You know all about that?”

“Of course I do my love. I stare at you all the time, remember?”

“Ah, then I guess that’s. - ahem-” 

Liara took a look at Garrus, and then Tali and then their locked arms and the display they had posed, she then looked at Shepard and her beloved lips curled into a grin. “You didn’t!” Liara exclaimed.

Shepard chuckled. “Nope I didn’t!” Shepard had her hands raised in mock innocence “But now you owe me. Told you they were doing more than calculations and calibrations. After all,” Shepard spared a teasing look at the other pair “It’s not like your room isn’t exactly beside the main battery right?”

Liara shook her head but gave a reassuring smile at the other couple. “I’m glad you found each other, you both look lovely. And I see you both compliment each other’s tastes as well?” The asari asked as she pointedly looked at Tali’s choice of color and the very obvious purple bowtie that Garrus was sporting.

“It’s about time after all.” Tali added “The Normandy is tired of just yours and Shepards moans.” the group laughed at that as they walked along the remaining steps towards the casino entrance and as they reached the bottom of the staircase leading up, Maya Brooks was now beside them.

“Good evening Commander.” she said in attention, although there was worry in her voice. “I thought this was only going to be a small team? I saw Major Alenko and Lt. Comm Williams earlier. This is like… half your team?” 

“Don’t worry Brooks, the team is here for their own little shenanigans. You know, thrill of the games, dates, war aid. It’s just you and me and Liara for the mission.”

“Alright that’s good. I guess. I mean… there’s a lot of decorated people at the party, they’ll be looking at all of you, cause of course - there’s nothing to look at with me and uh, that’s how it should be. Right? Right, yeah okay I should shut up now.” 

Shepard shook her head as she patted the analysts shoulders “Don’t worry Brooks, we’ll straighten this out. Alright then guys, let’s go mingle with the riff-raff.”

Garrus and Tali then went past them and started on with their date. Shepard unlinked her arms from Liara and proceeded to whisper through her comms.

“We good to go EDI?”

“Yes Shepard, Staff Analyst Brooks will just have to find the vent from the second floor. From there I will guide you to the next area. I suggest you find key players from the casino to mingle with to lessen the suspicion should you be targeted by security.”

Shepard moved towards the landing, carefully placing her hand on the small of Liara’s back. “Liara?” she asked

“Hmm?”

“You know I’m competitive right?”

“Of course. I notice you’ve had Glyph record quite a list of ‘competitions’ with the other crew members. In any case you’re lagging behind Garrus’ sniper shots - and the number of push-ups from James.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can beat James, Garrus I still might. Anyway, I have another uhm, quirk you gotta know about.”

“Oh? More to learn for the Shadow Broker?” Liara teased as they reached one side of the casino. 

Shepard had led them to the roulette wheel and without missing a beat - “I love to gamble.” the commander turned her head away from her date and towards the dealer. “Straight up, all in and on number 12 you go baby.” Shepard exclaimed without hesitation she grabbed the tokens and placed three of them on the number 12. 

After four rounds, three of which Shepard lost and one in which she had won a little over what she lost made Liara shake her head. “I should have expected that with all the gambling you have with your life that you would tone down in other aspects, but I have been corrected once again.”

“It’s not that bad Liara, and don’t worry we’re doing this for a good cause, right?” Shepard threw the asari one of her most charming smiles.

“If you say so Shepard - wait - what do you mean ‘we’?”

Shepard then wrapped an arm around the asari’s waist as she pulled Liara closer to her, their bodies touching beside the roulette table. “Deal me another one dealer, all in - come on babe, blow and whisper me a number.” 

“Shepard --” Liara said, feeling flustered yet flattered at the turn of events. She was not the shy 106 year old virgin stuck in Prothean Ruins anymore. Sure she had her own spy network and had been dealing with shadier projects, but to always feel as if she was someone special, someone Shepard had no trouble showing everyone how she meant, it was exhilarating. Liara blew on the offered hand before giving in to lean on Shepard’s ear to whispers. 

Liara did not waste the opportunity to show her love how appreciative she was, she turned her body so it would be more snug against Shepards side, almost as if she was clinging - and brought her lips to the commander’s ears, flicking her tongue out slightly to trace a line on the outer edges “All on 20, darling.”

Shepard grinned at the audacious display as she placed the three tokens on 20. 

They lost. 

“Ah” Shepard started “then we are losing this to a good cause at least.”

Liara had started to mewl and covered her face with her hands and tried to get out of the commanders grasp out of embarrassment, there wasn’t enough time for Shepard to comfort her as their comm went online. 

“Commander” came Brooks’ voice “I’m upstairs by the grate leading to the shaft, but there’s a problem, can you come meet me?”

Shepard listened in before turning back to Liara. “Aw come on babe, it’s okay,” she tried to comfort as she moved Liara away from the roulette table and towards one of the guests EDI tagged as important. “Probably the human equivalent of the saying ‘beginners luck’”. 

“I lost us quite the amount of money.” Liara replied, still quite taken by the loss. She felt young and innocent again, at least at this moment. 

Shepard shrugged as she gave a soft kiss on the asari’s cheek. “Nah, you just donated to some refugee in need. I could lose us more to make you feel better?” 

That earned her a smack. “Don’t you dare Shepard.”

This only made the commander laugh heartily before reaching back into her comm line. “Information about this one EDI?” the commander asks.

“That is Aishwarya Ashland, daughter of Jonah Ashland who owns many of the helium 3 gas plants around the Milky Way.” Went the AI’s voice.

Shepard decided that maybe going back and losing to the roulette wheel was better than this. The girl was already on her third topic and for some reason she could feel her mind already trailing somewhere where rainbows and butterflies partied. This girl made no sense and even though she technically could leave now, it was - 

“Uh commander? I’m upstairs.” came Brooks' voice. 

Shepard blinked, the conversation with this Aishwarya got out of hand in a way that she definitely spaced her mind for a few minutes. Good thing she was able to snap back at it due to Brooks just in time to answer one of the girl’s - somewhat rhetorical question.

“Good to know you’re still here, listening well aren’t you?” Aishwarya said, a lift in her tone. 

“What can I say, I'm a masochist.” Shepard smiled weakly.

“You are?! I’m a Scorpio! We’ll get along great!” 

That was Shepards cue to leave and just in time it seems as Liara went on ahead to grab her by the arm and drag her to the second floor. “You really look lost there. darling.”

“You have no idea.”

Once on the second floor bar, Shepard almost missed Brooks - one because she saw the bar and wanted something hard for the sake of forgetting the girl she talked with, and two because she saw Garrus and Tali - not drinking anything - ‘That’s no fun’ The commander thought. Still, she found herself walking towards Brooks.

“So whats up?” the commander asked.

Turns out there were a lot of things they had to make work just to get things going smoothly. This is how Shepard found herself playing some game of tag with the surveillance systems.

“Thanks Commander I’m in.” came Brooks' voice.

Now it was time to mingle again - and Shepard needed her drink. She looked towards the bar where Tali and Garrus were sitting, and there was a human bartender, an idea formed in her head.

“EDI?” she started 

“Yes Commander?”

“I need you to do me a solid.”

The voice on the line held for a moment before it spoke again. “Of course Commander.” EDI knew that tone, Shepard only said those specific words when she was up to something and as long as it didn’t seem that disastrous to the overall mission - which usually it never was - EDI did not question the methods of her commander. 

Shepard then took Liara’s hand as they walked towards the bar, pulling out the only available bar chair for Liara before standing between her and the already seated Garrus.

The bartender was human, perfect. “Where you from, buddy? Need a special recipe here for my friends.” Shepard said, waving towards Garrus and Tali, who welcomed them but continued to flirt with each other.

“Portugal, amiga. Qual é o seu pedido?” (What’s your request?) the human asked

Shepard leaned down and spoke “Something for the dextro yeah? A little algo muito forte, gostoso, imperceptível.” (something very strong, but tasty and imperceptible). At the look from the human Shepard added a few more words that Garrus and Tali didn’t really react to, though beside Shepard, Liara was already wondering what was taking place.

The human bartender nodded with a smile as he fixed up the designated drinks. That in turn had Garrus facing Shepard. “What did you ask them?” he asked “I understood it, somewhat, but something seems wrong with my translator - did you get that Liara?”

Before Liara could reply, Shepard smiled innocently “Just drinks on the house, you both look like you need to loosen up a bit.” This in turn raised an imaginary eyebrow from the turian. 

“Hmm.” his sub vocals vibrated “this isn’t one of you’re tricks right? On the house means you’re paying?”

Shepard laughed “Of course Garrus, it’s just a little fun. I’m on duty after all.” she replied as she wrapped an arm around Liara once again. 

The drinks came and the bartender set two light blue liquid in front of the dexro’s it had a little umbrella on the side and a sort of fruit Shepard wasn’t familiar with - but with the trill coming from Tali it seemed like it was something she enjoyed. 

Garrus looked at the drink with suspicions but when he asked the bartender if it was paid, the man assured him it was. 

“And you Shepard? What are you going to drink?” Tali asked as she already had her ‘emergency induction port’ inserted into the drink.

“Nothing too strong, I need to be able to walk in a straight line, yeah? What do you propose Liara?” Shepard asked as she took a little pinch at Liara’s side, knowing where her ticklish spots were.

With a little jolt Liara got back on her own by trailing her hand on Shepards front, hidden away from the other’s eyes as the bar was covering her partner just enough. “Bartender, two Thessian Temples please.” 

“Are asari drinks usually mild?” Shepard asked as her voice hitched a bit when she felt Liara’s hand moving delicately on her front. She could feel the cool fingertips dancing almost on her skin. 

Liara’s concentration on making Shepard undone made the bartender answer the question. 

“This one yes, a while ago Mr. Khan asked us to serve the jell-o shots, those kick like a shotgun.” 

The four of them continued on their conversation, although slowly as the dextro’s were almost done with their drinks did the conversation turn from a group into a pair, with Tali and Garrus getting closer and closer as they talked while Liara and Shepard continued on their conversation. Liara took a look back at the dextros before scrunching her eyes and pulling Shepard near her so the other pair wouldn’t hear what she was saying.

“Is there something I should know?” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In one of the maintenance bay’s waiting areas, Joker walked back to where EDI was waiting for him. “Any news?” he asked the AI.

EDI turned towards him and nodded. “The commander has asked me to do her a solid.”

“A solid huh? What about?”

“It seems that she has requested Tali and Garrus gather some, liquid courage. She had requested me to scramble their translations from a certain Earth language so they would not understand what was being said.”

“Oh?” came Joker’s curious response, eager for a tidbit of information. “Looks like we’re going to have three serious couples in Normandy now.”

“If it has anything to do with feelings then yes, it will look like Garrus and Tali will find themselves opening up to the rest of the crew.” EDI took a moment to nod as she stated the obvious, everyone in the Normandy knew that there was something going on between the turian and the quarian, although none else pried. 

“Jeff?” she asked looking up at Joker and found herself suddenly curious. “You have said three serious couples. You mean to include us, yes?”

Joker smiled, a really big smile that went to his ears as he happily sat beside the AI and leaned his head on her shoulder. “Definitely.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liara and Shepard now found themselves back on the main floor of the casino near the other bar. 

“Is there something I should know?” Liara asked as Shepard smiled innocently at her. “I know what you told the bartender, and I would have assumed that Garrus looked quite suspicious of your actions, but they didn't seem to find anything wrong?” 

Shepard took the time to get another drink before waggling her eyebrows at the asari. “It’s not that bad, I just wanted to give them a little bit more of a liquid courage, Garrus was slightly a wreck when he said he wanted to take Tali on a date, I don’t think he thought about it too well.” She gave a shrug but relented when Liara kept her accusing eyes on her.

“Aw come on babe, it wasn’t that bad. But yeah, I guess they won’t really know what hit them. I had EDI scramble their translators for a bit, so they wouldn’t have understood the specific language I used.”

“And what if they ask for more?” Liara challenged, she knew one day these antics would bite Shepard back.

“It’s not an issue, I’ve got it covered.” Shepard tried to close in for a kiss before Liara moved her head away. 

“Shepard?” she asked, “If you tell me all that you did I’ll let you do something naughty.” If there was something Liara wanted to happen in terms of Shepard doing her antics, it was to be a part of it rather than to become it, and although her beloved had toned down the pranks on her, it was still different to be a partner of sorts. 

“You know my heart perfectly Liara.” Shepard said as she went in to swoop for the kiss. 

When Liara learned that Shepard had already told the bartender to give the dextro’s a tamer if not - a placebo version of the drink, Liara had to then stop and admire how far Shepard had thought about the little prank. It seemed inconsequential on a larger scale when it was placed that way. Although of course they can’t really be sure, but to request as well that Tali’s would always be triple filtered whatever it may be and that the tab would be put on Shepards own account was a little bit more responsible that a normal prank.

“So you really just wanted to help boost Garrus’ confidence didn’t you?” Liara asked as she took another sip of her drink.

“Yeah, I really do, we’ll need the team fit after I’m sure, but a little courage for both of them on their first date will be good for them. Plus hey, I’m sure we’ll have more than enough members up for a little bit of midnight missions.” Shepard went in to clink her glass to Liara’s - just in time as Brooks came back again online.

“Commander!” Brooks whispered harshly. 

“Yeah Brooks?” Shepard said as she sipped on her second Thessian Temple.

“I think I tripped an alarm!”

“What? How? No, nevermind - EDI?”

“Yes commander, I have run diagnostics; there is a security staff heading towards Agent Brook’s position, I have tagged him for you. If you are able to get his attention, I will be able to divert him from the position.”

Shepard bit her lip as she thought, she then took a look at Liara who was **not** drinking on her mocktail, she had one of her legs above the other, letting Shepard admire the way the dress clung to her skin.

“Babe? You heard that, right? I have an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say sorry a bit for this one, I like writing this story as it's very slice of life type, but then I find myself mixing moods - a part wants it to be dirty, then sweet, then funny, that it usually just ends up bordering on one or the other. Though I know I should focus on a certain part to make it fully worth it. If you get my drift?
> 
> Either way, the story is going to be more chapters so i'm sure I can find a balance somewhere. 
> 
> As a treat, the next chapter will very much include a good chunk of explicitness.


	9. The Best Interruption Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A delicious interruption.
> 
> SMUT inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I have written a full smut, well it's not even super full of a smut, but you all get it.
> 
> I also wanted to extend the drama - but decided that it wouldn't be good to the whole of the chapter - but it will be answered again later and be brought up in the next chapter or the next next... either way it will be brought up definitely.

#  **Javik’s Interview:**

  
Side A: “Commander Shepard must cease her antics and focus on the mission at hand.” - Testimony by the Prothean Javik for Battlespace.

Side B: “What do you mean that is not enough human? You and your primitive ways of making ‘vids. In my cycle everything was to the point, there is no time to waste on such frivolities.’ I have said what I need to say about the Commander and that is enough. It is not my problem if your viewers does not understand what I mean… What do you mean I have to? No I do not. The fact that I am here and not killing anyone of you should already show that I am dedicated to the commander despite her… misgivings.” Javik, already moving away from the camera with all four eyes in slits as he looked at Diana’s camera.

##  **The Best Interruption Ever**

Liara gave her beloved a curious look but let herself be led to the side of the bar. She had heard what EDI said and was wondering how her partner’s quick thinking mind was going to act. She could only hope it wasn’t anything too scandalous such as shouting or making a fool of herself. Something Liara knew Shepard would do because she was exactly like that - uncaring in a way that she never minded.

“Okay babe, so you stand right here, alright - and when I say go, you just act naturally okay?” Shepard said as she moved Liara backwards - they were facing each other although not fully - they were near the corridor to where the panic room was - the corridor was slightly narrow, but if they failed here, the guard could easily go and push past them towards Brooks.

“Ready when you are, Shepard” Liara said. 

The guard was a few steps behind them - Liara didn’t know if she would focus on the guard- or on Shepard, but she was quickly given cue and even though Liara knew it wasn’t the right action to warrant whatever Shepard planned, she couldn’t help but laugh - bringing her hand to her mouth as she tried to stifle it - leaving her in a giggling mess.

Shepard had two glasses of what can be called ‘Alien Martini’ in her hands. In such a super agent look, the commander had stopped in front of her and raised a challenging eyebrow as she sashayed her hips ever so subtly towards the asari. From Liara’s peripheral vision - it seemed to work, the guard who was intent to move towards the corridor stopped in his tracks for a moment, curiously watching Shepard as well. 

In a voice that was uncommonly loud for a party, Shepard gave an extravagant greeting and a bow and gave her one of the glasses, the commander then took her by the hips and every so gracefully dipped her in the middle of the hallway. With a shocked look, Liara tried her best to glide gracefully along, the martini she held swaying ever so delicately - almost - but not quite spilling as she was bent backwards. Her face was obviously flushed and blushing, but she couldn’t help but smile as Shepards face turned up to the T in the flattering department as her partner took two big gulps of the martini and just in time - to place the glass on arms reach of the guard!

Liara tried her best not to react to it - pretending what Shepard was also seeing - a waiter if not a guard, two of them just letting their prestige as guests be known. The guard scrunched up his brows and took the offending glass, but before he could ask the two women to move - Shepard started talking.

“And what does a pretty lady like you get to do here, sugar?” the commander asked with such a convincing tone as if there were strangers in a party.

It took Liara a moment to reply, a moment too late as the guard coughed to get their attention - Liara almost looked back to the guard before Shepard placed her now free hand on the asari’s face. “Oh no, no mi amor -” Shepard dipped Liara lower and in one quick movement - placed the asari’s body flush against her, earning her a pretty loud gasp from the beautiful blue alien “in this dance - you shall only be looking at me - only into my eyes. Eyes that will bore into your soul as I dance with it.” Liara was actually surprised to find herself being incredibly drawn in this sort of roleplay. She found her arms wrapping around Shepards neck as she let herself be swayed by her beloved strong figure. 

The guard tried to get their attention again - in which Shepard had decided to fully trap the asari against the side of the walls - from there, even though there was space to walk - it seemed Shepard did her best to make use of her commanding aura and the guard had yet to move forward. It was exhilarating to say the least - deliberately, Shepard was making the atmosphere to be only for both of them, not even when the guard called their attention, not when there was a barefaced Turian looking at them amused, not when the other guests where walking behind the guard did Liara even think of pulling away from Shepards gaze. 

“Take me.” Liara would question herself later with the weight of her words and how scandalous she sounded. “Oh by the goddess take me right now!” Oh how she almost screamed, the gaze, the look, the audacity of it all, it was delicious and Liara felt almost dizzy as she then found herself being unashamedly yet tantalizingly groped in the hallway - the guard had now seized to call their attention as Shepard found her hands on the asari’s body. 

It was probably one for the books, but Liara didn’t notice that her hand that contained the martini glass was taken from her by the skilled hands that held her - the martini glass that was full was then brought back to the notice of the guard before the said hand continued its way to grip the asari’s hips, strong yet tender as the other hand went lower, stopping at the curve of the asari’s bum. Liara in turn couldn’t help it, she found one hand clinging on the commander’s hair while the other wrapped around Shepards back as if pulling her closer. 

“Please-” came the asari’s plead, a plea that LIara failed to notice made the turian watching them hum and the human guard getting slack jawed. 

“You like this don’t you mi amor? The thrill, the openness - how the sound outside beats in tune to our movement, how our heart beats together” Shepard said as she whispered near the asari’s ear, taking it up a notch by licking the asari’s ear and almost - just almost grinding into her partner. Liara couldn’t take it - and unashamedly she grinded her own hips towards the commander - something that just in time made the guard look back when his omnitool started beating. 

Liara was already lost in the bliss as Shepard continued to nuzzle her neck - she could feel one of the commanders thigh between hers and both of her hands were extended upwards behind her head. “You are gorgeous Liara-” Shepard said, her voice dripped with rough sweetness. “You make me crazy, so wild, even with everyone looking.” Liara felt the commander’s supple tongue move against her neck, and Liara couldn’t help but moan, a moan that went straight to her azure. She humped back with abandon.

Shepard had already heard the guard leave - and heard EDI as she masked her voice as one of the other guards. She would owe the AI another solid, this time blocking Liara from the radio voices - EDI would tell Brooks it was fine to move on - whatever was happening now with her and the asari, it was something Shepard had longed to want to do but never had the chance to - and she was going to give the asari what she wanted.

“This dress, these hips - you are so amazing, so wonderful.” Shepard’s voice went deeper, almost growling as she now went to kiss the willing mouth the asari offered. Their tongues mashed together and Shepard let the asari’s hands go as she broke the kiss and went back to the asari’s ear. “You are mine, remember that Liara, you are mine as much as I am yours and when this is all over, i’m going to take you over the edge.”

Liara’s eyes had started to glaze, she stared right back at her beloved and brought her now free hands to the commander’s face. “I’m already over the edge Shepard, I need to-”

Shepard would have laughed, it was all over - and it looks like the two Thessian Temples were hard on the young inexperienced asari, but she was also feeling the heat of the roleplay, if Shepard was honest with herself, she didn’t expect it to be this good. A flash of blue caught her eye and she saw Ashley give her a wink and then one of the doors on the other side of the corridor opened. A storage area… 

“Come mi amor - I know exactly what you need.” Shepard leaned in to give the asari another mouth watering kiss as she held the blue hand tightly and went straight to the offered storage.

The meager light from the storage seemed to wake Liara a little bit from the trance, but not before Shepard trapped her again with her thigh and snuggled her neck. “Where you going, beautiful?” she said now in her usual tone. Her hands were now less aggressive and more calculated -knowing the special spots the asari loved being held. Liara. “Shepard, who’s guarding the -” that asari’s voice died as quickly as it came when she was suddenly moved to face the wall, her hands braced towards it as Shepard started kissing her nape. Liara gasped- a gasp she knew would escape the room. Her nape was one of her most sensitive parts, and she knew her beloved knew it. The asari’s ass grinded back towards the commander, earning her a dark chuckle from the human.

“Don’t struggle babe, we’re only just starting.” Shepard said as she held the zipper of the asari’s clothes and slowly dragged them down, she kissed the blue flesh that appeared, slowly, inch by inch of flesh was given attention and Liara didn’t even notice that her back was already exposed. Shepard moved her hands inside the zippers and cupped the blue breasts as continued her ministrations on the asari’s neck, lovingly giving each breast a squeeze with every kiss, a nip on a neck for every time the pads of her thumb stroked the hardened nubs.

“Let me see you, darling.” Liara’s voice came. Shepard let her turn around and Liara gasped, one because her dress easily fell off her arms as she moved, leaving her gloves on above the elbow, two because her bare back was now in contact with the cold wall, and three, because she was given a very quick look of Shepard outside her outer coat and her inner wear was so thin that even though it left little to the imagination, the navy blue brassiere that hugged her beloved’s assets was encased so gorgeously that found herself thoroughly turned on.

She only had a chance for a quick look, because in that moment that she gasped Shepard had brought her head down and enveloped her right breasts in her mouth. Liara groaned, the attention and heat of the human’s tongue on her nub was driving her wild, the hardness of her nipple being battled by the deliciously wet appendage thrashing around her areola and made her wet - it wasn’t long before the other nipple was treated to its own lavish attention as the commander’s fingers found its way to caress the underside of her breasts before thumbing the little nub.

Liara arched her back, not caring that her crests were being pushed into the wall. She lifted her chest, willing for Shepard to take as much as she could of her breasts. She gave another gasp as Shepard began to bite down, little nips mixed with long bites that didn’t break the skin - it was all the more delicious when the human would hold the intensity of the bite and then and then let go- leaving her aching nipples to be lavished by the tongue that she loved.

“Shepard please, please-” came her voice - she wanted more, she wanted Shepard to go back to her lips, or trail down lower, she wanted release since being outside - it was all so exciting, she didn’t even need the extended foreplay. 

The head stopped moving under her and looked up, Shepards eyes shone in the dim light and Liara took a moment to caress the head that made her crazy.

“Do you love me?” Shepard asked.

“Wha-”

“Do you love me?” came the question again.

“Of course I do Shepard- I-” Liara’s voice died down when the commander stood up straight, she saw the commander quickly remove the thin inner clothes are let her breasts free - Liara could see Shepard’s nipples hard and standing at utmost attention, Liara didn’t have a chance to get her own taste when Shepard knelt down on the floor and quickly pulled what was left of her dress down, her underwear going down with her.

With no time to waste Liara found herself staring at the top of the ceiling - seeing nothing but stars and bliss as Shepard ate her azure. 

Liara bit down on a finger as she placed one hand on the commander’s head. Nothing had felt better than this, and it was obvious on her undulating nether regions that she had found this very much worthwhile. Liara failed to notice the noise she was making, the humping of her nether regions from Shepards face to the wall, the fact that her comm wasn’t projecting anything - it was just the bliss of being alone with her beloved in a casino storage area- only their breathing and the faint sounds of winning from behind her could be heard. 

She could feel herself oh so wet, and the tongue that had been so suave earlier was put to good use as it played along her lips. “Shepard, darling, please -”

Shepard was a woman of action, and oh so slowly, so gently, two delightfully skilled fingers pressed inside her azure, the deft tongue continued it’s onslaught. Liara bucked at the delicious intrusion. She could now hear the additional sounds of her azure as her fluids dripped out and entered again with her beloved’s strokes. The asari moved her hands back to her breasts, playing with her nipples without abandon, she could feel one of her legs being raised by strong hands, giving the commander more leverage to lick her mounds and have her fingers deeper. 

“I’m, I”m going to come Shepard-” Liara said as her breaths increased.

Shepard did not reply apart from making it so that her fingers pumping inside and out the blue alien was faster, more precise, hitting that perfect spot over and over as his tongue was mercilessly lapping up her clit. 

“Embrace eternity!” 

Liara’s eyes darkened as she placed both hands on her partners head and proceeded to grind her hips without abandon. Shepard let herself be dominated as the asari above her exploded. She couldn’t hear anything during their merge, but she could feel everything, from every stroke to every rise and fall of Liara’s breathing- to the hitching of her voice and the thrumm of her nerves. Shepard could hear it all, feel it all. Both of them melding into one. 

The pair were still inside the meld when Liara had come down slightly from her high and though she was about to return the favor, she was unable to when Shepard stood up and placed the asari’s leg on a table - a table Liara didn’t register earlier. With a wicked smile, Shepard moved to dip the asari- almost half lying down before Shepard once again pierced her azure with two experienced fingers, the feeling now of being entered differently made Liara moan, and the added view of her beloved looking down at her with perverse yet loving eyes made Liara move to match the fingers that were penetrating her. The asari arched her head higher, eyes wide open, begging to be given a kiss.

Shepard smiled down at her, almost cruelly, all teasing as the commander spoke in with such a cocky tone that Liara had found herself cumming again. “Say please-” in an instant, Liara was cumming, her legs were erratic but her eyes were still open, and during the throes of her passion she was able to speak “Please--”

With that simple word Shepard found herself back towards the blue alien’s lips, the asari’s taste merging in between their tongues. 

The fingers in her azure eased themselves out as they settled to cup her nether regions. Liara placed both hands on her beloved’s face as the meld slowly left them back to real life.

“I love you-” Liara started to say as she bent her head down to give the commander’s freed breasts some attention - 

Shepard moved away slightly, shaking her head at the fact that they had spent enough time out- but again it was Liara’s puppy dog eyes that stopped her. “Okay okay, I’m not going to let myself cum okay? But I’m not going to say no to a beautiful asari who’s going to service her lord.”

The fact that Shepard was once again hinting at a sort of ‘roleplay’ made Liara blush and she crossed her legs to try and stifle the growing arousal that wanted to start again. Shepard easily took notice as the smirk in her lips became a full fledged one and Liara had to shake her head.

Slowly Liara licked at the offered human nipples, she gave each one a good amount of attention as she reveled in the bliss that was given to her. She noticed Shepards hands move towards her own nether region.

“Shepard?” she asked quizzically, not stopping her ministrations. “Let me.”

Shepard shook her head, “Ha I’m weak, but no, not now, business first.”

Liara pouted at that and actually felt put off at the moment. It was one thing to get into things, but it was another to be satisfied while her partner wasn’t. It made the asari frown as she was helped by Shepard to fix her clothes. All in all, she almost didn’t want Shepard to touch her.

“What’s wrong?” Shepard asked, confused at the turn of events. 

Liara took a deep breath as she schooled her features to one of amicable partnership. “Business first.” she delicately pulled her own zipper back up, not meeting the eyes of her commander. 

Silently, Shepard got dressed, and accepted Liara’s help as she wore her outer tuxedo back up.

Before Liara could reach the handle of the storage area, Shepard took the asari’s hand, it was cold, maybe because it was left in open air compared to the rest of the body? Shepard knew not, but the silent coldness in her partner’s eyes spoke volumes.

“Liara-” Shepard tried to start.

“I don’t want to talk about it Shepard, not now- business first.”

Liara opened the door, and Shepard didn’t hesitate to blurt out to the retreating asari’s back “I want to savor your delicious tongue on my body later, I … you put your lithe tongue in me now Liara and I’m going to cum within that minute - you’ve made me so horny I’ve been dripping since you said ‘take me’.” 

Liara’s earlier anger subsided, in a split second her whole face turned into a deep shade of purple. She looked beside her and was so terribly embarrassed because just beside the door, guarding it was Javik - and from the groan - which she couldn’t see because she didn’t dare turn her head to the other side of the door was Wrex. 

With a very small squeak of “excuse me” Liara went back inside and shut the door of the storage room.

Still purple faced from the blush, Liara went straight to her beloved and kissed her, a soft comforting type of kiss before putting her forehead against the human. “I’m sorry for overreacting, darling.” she whispered against the human’s lips.

“I’m sorry for being so cryptic sometimes.” Shepard replied, giving the asari a small kiss before muttering. “Better tone yourself down now huh? I guess someone’s waiting outside?” Liara could only bury her head in Shepard’s coat out of shame.

Javik had already disliked her, or maybe liked her enough to the point of always bullying her - the fact that the respected prothean had seen her so… disheveled and probably heard everything she said was unfathomable.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Javik and Wrex had been at the casino earlier, mostly due to a bet made by this James. It was not something that Javik wanted to partake in, but he found himself easily enough snaked by the rules, and even though he did not want to - his pride had let him continue on with the deal --until he found his loss. 

He would not give in to the primitives and did his dare with pride. It was also just very lucky that there was no reason for the Citadel to have a prothean tuxedo handy. At the krogan’s announcement of “I look ridiculous”, it was enough at least to assuage him that he still had the upper hand, even if it’s just with the two of them. 

“The commander is not one to hide her feelings isn’t she? That is a weakness many can exploit.” Javik said as all four eyes narrowed and he looked at the door where the asari exited.

“Well, you can also say she’s pretty brave, she knew there were people that could pass, and she knew we were here.” the Krogan grunted. “She even knew we were around when she said her feelings. That counts for something.”

“Ah yes, there is bravery in that, foolish but may be counted as brave, or maybe just shameless. Still I cannot fathom why we would need to stand guard here like a pair of primitive beings.” 

“Eh I didn’t mind, Shepard earns a little happiness here and there - sure it’s not the time, but the young does what the young does. And hey, if I were any younger, and with how the genophage is turning out, I’m sure I’d be tearing through the walls with this co-pu-la-tion going on” Wrex laughed heartily.

“That is you krogan, not me. I do not understand why I let myself be talked into this… guarding.”

“Save it Javik, you did it cause you liked me.”

“I do-”

“Yeah you do. Come on, let’s go bet on some varrens, I know which is the best and I’ll help you win.”

The prothean grumbled under his breath but let Wrex lead the way. Later he was going to have a talk with this commander, but decided that that would come after he would win all the money he lost. He should not have let this krogan talk him into having drinks and betting - a sport that he could have been dead for, but no - the krogan was able to sway him simply by saying things were now different in this cycle.

Still, even though the prothean was not going to admit it so easily, Javik found the thrill of the game interesting, after all, it was with ironic luck that out of all the protheans, he was the lucky one that survived. Just like the luck of a roulette wheel. The same roulette wheel he had lost a staggering amount of 10,000 credits.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shepard and Liara excited the storage area when they heard a strong knock - a knock that obviously came from the krogan standing guard earlier. It might not have been obvious to Liara but due to Shepard not having EDI cut her comms, only the commander was somewhat aware of what was happening outside. 

Kaidan filled in Brooks momentarily that she was busy - something Brooks didn’t fully buy so she was left waiting on her own in a separate storage area - Shepard was just probably going to blame eating some turian food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like talking. So I shall ramble to those who who are here haha
> 
> Thing is, when I read fanfics, I categorize them into certain moods, one is world building, the other is emotional, and then the next is action. What I find I want to do is the emotional, meaning in a paragraph we see the desires and the intricacies of how Character A reacts with B. Right now, what I've been doing is mostly action oriented - for me and for the readers to see the intricacies of movement, but not exactly emotional - as is obvious from the lack of fondling of Liara and Shepard at the bar - because I had to turn the emotion of one to friendliness - of emotion and action - which is towards Garrus and Tali, basically, like real time moments, as if i'm narrating one of those for the blind films (hope this makes sense).
> 
> I'm trying to work out a sweet spot of world building (though not fully applicable to this DLC game but it is applicable in my other stories), emotional paragraphs and kinetic movements. And well, going on nine chapters in for this story and the same for my other, I just hope I do work things out.
> 
> Another info I'd like to take into notice is nuances in words, I notice I write in conversation, meaning like the action, it's like i'm narrating what's happening rather than the big picture, but that SHOULD require the use of italicize, bold, and so on to convey strength in that certain emotion or action. Something I have not done properly, an example is the second to the last line of the previous chapter 
> 
> "Shepard bit her lip as she thought, she then took a look at Liara who was *not* drinking on her mocktail..." the NOT should have been regarded with added enunciation. I know there's a few more parts I should have done this on but yeah. 
> 
> This note is more for me really, because I like to ramble. 
> 
> But to anyone who reads this in full and doesnt hate me, kudos to you XD.


	10. One Shit On Top Of The Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just gotta temper your temper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally i'm back. I'll still be regularly updating this, as long as some other asari doesn't bother my feelings XD
> 
> Note: there's smut, because idk Liara is like that haha - rather, Shepard, is like that.

#  **James’s Interview:**

  
Side A: “The Commander is amazing, totally. Never dreamed I would be a part of ‘the first human spectre’s team. Not on a mission this size. I don’t know if I’d done anything to deserve this, but I’m sure as hell going to make the commander proud. Damn loco deserves it.” - Testimony by James Vega for Battlespace.

Side B: “Uh. Lola’s got nice abs? I mean I’m sure everyone worth their balls would know that - buuuut not everyone has seen it. Ah ha- yeah that’s what I mean. Oh shit Traynor, don’t faint -. I don’t really got much to talk about Lola’s little quirk. I’m a good boy scout like that. But maybe slip me some drinks on a good round of cards and I’ll let something spill.” James Vega, already getting calls and messages from the viewers for invites on their games and parties.

##  **One Shit On Top Of The Other**

“He’s dead.” The statement came as a surprise to the analysts features. “But how could he have?”

Shepard moved to examine the dead Khan, opening her omnitool and looking at the variables that easily showed up. 

“Looks like he died recently, obviously from a gunshot wound, seemed he was surprised. It was a clean entry, no show of struggle.”

“But that would mean the perpetrator is here!” Maya exclaimed, looking around skittishly.

Just as she spoke, the terminal in front of them opened - a mesh of gray noise filling the air as the same disentangled voice spoke through it. Shepard could see a few bits and pieces of what seemed like flesh and a uniform, but nothing to be able to discern who exactly was speaking.

“You have nothing. All you can do is wait for the hammer to fall, commander. I’m going to take everything from you.”

Shepard's eyes narrowed at the display, they broke into a squint as a whole hearted laugh tore through her. 

Liara looked taken aback in surprise, “Darling, are you alright?” she asked, taking a step forward to hold the humans face, worried.

The spectre turned to hum. “Dun, dun dun hammer to, hammer to- hammer to fall.” 

Shepard's eyes looked up at the screen in what could be posed as a victorious look. “I’m pretty sure you’re human.”

Now it was Brooks' turn to look surprised. “How - how would you know that commander?”

Shepard shook her head, and spoke at the figure behind the terminal. “You’re going to slip, you might not know it but you will and when that happens. No one will catch you.”

With that Shepard turned, a smirk on her face as she called in the team to report back to the apartment at the earliest time. 

Shepard said that sure, but it all would have probably gone better if Liara and her didn’t stay for a few more rounds of quasar. This time, they easily won.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the apartment, Shepard was pleasantly surprised to hear from EDI that everyone was back already. “You all move fast don’t you?” she commended, the tone of disbelief coloring her voice as she opened the door.

“Not necessarily unscathed it seems.” Liara added as she entered first and saw the cacophony of events happening. Ashley could be heard in what seems to the Lt Commander throwing up with Kaiden singing in a very loud and off key tone, Javik was laughing his prothean ass off as Grunt was jumping up trying to get something from Wrex’s grasp. EDI was quietly ignoring Joker who was now trying to balance three glasses of vodka’s on each arm -while Cortez, was pouring a bottle of drinks unendingly to very outpoured glass on the bar. Garrus and Tali were snuggling on the second floor railing, oblivious to everyone while James was whistling a tune, baking, it seemed to be his third cake - if that’s what you can call a half slopping piece of bread, cake.

“Jesus, what is that smell - I.” Shepard said as she made a face, taking in a deep breath “Oh Liara. You look deliciously divine!” Shepard moved in and grabbed a bountiful clothed mound “Wait what...” Shepard took another little inhale, before her face turned into one of stark realization. “Fuck. Liara come here, EDI, outside!” The commander quickly pulled the asari, effectively closing the door behind everyone - even Maya Brooks- as EDI followed.

“EDI, how long has James been cooking?”

“I approximate the time as… 2 hours and 27 minutes Shepard. Just after you and Major Alenko left for the casino.”

“Didn’t you think anything was wrong?”

“The crew seems to be having what you organics called ‘fun’ Shepard. Is there something the matter?” EDI asked, curiosity obvious as the robot learned to tilt her head in accordance to a question.

Shepard turned to look at Liara, who was now effectively pining herself on the tower window, dancing like a newly freed maiden out of Thessa and into Afterlife. “I’ve got to save this, she opened her omnitool and recorded what Liara was doing, almost forgetting what she had come out for.

EDI looked at the asari, slightly taken aback at the curiosity of the station. "I did not expect that would be what Liara will call fun, Shepard. I am sure her... hips will not be very accommodating tomorrow."

Shepard snapped back to the AI, even as she continued to record the asari.

“Oh yeah, EDI - has anyone eaten James’ cake?” 

“Jeff has tasted from the bowl as I recall.”

“Has Joker done anything different from the ordinary?”

“I believe he said that he would like to, quote ‘go back into the Omega four relay and keelah selai the krogans so he could become the next human councilor’.”

“That… that doesn’t even make sense, but wait, you didn’t think that was strange?”

“Jeff has 7 zettabytes of pornographic material. I do believe he is past anything that is strange.”

Shepard groaned into her hands.

“Oh goddess… my head.” Liara said blinking and suddenly realizing she was hugging one of the decorative trees by the window. “What happened?”

Shepard turned towards her blue lover, trying to hold in the latest secret that Liara had technically just shook her behind like one of her brethren. “Ha. I think it’s Purple Dust.”

“How did that get into the apartment, how do you know what it was that easily? You don’t even seem affected?” Liara asked, her questions fired quick and to the point. 

Shepard ignored the questions for the moment, deciding to give orders to the synthetics that were - thankfully - available.

“EDI, go inside and have Glyph help you scan the cake, and then the rooms, find the trace of the dust, if it’s in the cake then throw out, blast the stove if you have to - no wait, I mean get it out clean, we don’t want to start a fire - and open the vent, get all the air out of there and bring in new one. If anything else has a trail of the purple dust, list it and hide it in the bags - it’s under the counter, make sure it’s as airtight as possible.” 

“Affirmative Shepard.” EDI turned back towards the door as Shepard pulled Liara farther away from the room.

“So, are you going to answer my questions darling?” Liara asked, her voice controlled, not amused by the least of what was happening.

“I honestly don’t know how the first really happened, but if it’s anything; I’m betting it’s James, and he didn’t know what it was. I know what it is, because I’ve experienced it, quick recap, Mordin and I found out about it during a recent trip back in Omega, it was being made by a group of salarians - it’s supposed to be a fun drug, we know how salarian’s aren’t very fun in comparison to… Elcor sonnets I guess. They did end up making it, but unfortunately, salarians were also pretty much immune, so that’s the short version of it.”

“But they’re still drugs?”

“Yeah, they are, I don’t use it if that’s what you mean Liara, I was just able to find out easily because Mordin was able to train me with getting acquainted with the many drugs around. Soon enough he said we’d be having some kind of blue dirt - or brown, with addicts just scooping up soil or something.” 

Liara shook her head, placing a hand over her eyes as she realized there was another unsafe substance needed to be tracked “I have never encountered such a fast acting chemical.” 

Shepard leered as she tilted towards the asari, “you’ve had your troubles with… drugs, Dr. T’soni?”

“Oh no, you’re not pulling that on me - it was just a very curious sensation, especially after Red Sand not really affecting the asari.”

Shepard relented as she moved away slightly, affectionately chuckling as she folded her arms and rested her body against a wall. “It’s fast yeah, but it also dies down fast with fresh air, that’s why I’m guessing it was the cake, the fumes make it easier to ingest.” 

EDI’s voice came in the comms, letting the pair know it was now safe to go inside. ”

“Is everyone acting better?”

“Everyone is experiencing a mild form of headache, I shall distribute the required medicine for their pain.”

“Good job EDI, Liara and I are incoming.”

When Shepard came in, it was obvious everyone was nursing some type of hangover. EDI had rounded everyone up in the living room. She had to close her eyes as she tsk’d her way towards the group, shaking her head as if looking down at a bunch of kids.

“So, James, where’d you get the idea of baking a cake?” Shepard asked.

For all of James bulk, he acted like a kid sometimes. “Uh I lost to some skinny salarians a couple of hours ago, I think. They said that I was all muscle and no finesse - so I went ahead and asked them to dare me, I could be strong and finesse at the same time, so I thought they were gonna have me do push ups I don’t know, but then they gave me this box of baking stuff, and let me say, I can make a mean batch of cake - did that a lot with my abuelas but - oh yeah okay, so they said they’ll meet me wherever I was making the cake within a few hours and that’s it.”

“They were going to rob you James.” Liara said matter of factly. “They would have put your defenses down enough to let them in and have their way.”

“I know that now. Sorry Lola.” James let his head fall, shame easily coating the younger marine.

Grunt sniffed, shaking his head as if clearing his head.“Huh. Didn’t think salarians could be like that.” 

“Well they are cunning Grunt.” Kaiden said, nodding his head at the knowledge.

“Too cunning.” Wrex sneered, remembering the problem with the salarian dalatrass.

Javik decided to speak, crossing his legs and raising his chin high. “All you primitives are weak. It did not even hurt my faculties.” 

Shepard scoffed with humor as she turned to the prothean. “You keep telling that Javik, you were laughing your primordial ass earlier as well.”

“At least, I did not get the ‘hangover’” If a prothean could look like they were pouting, it was this one.

When the team was finally able to pick themselves up after a few minutes, EDI and Brooks had started taking notes regarding the drives she was able to pick up from Khan’s terminal. Though Brooks looked more stressed than usual, Shepard decided it was best not to bother the analyst.

So that’s how Shepard found herself by the sofa’s near the bar, sitting down beside her beloved and squeezing the asari towards the arm rest, which the asari in turn laughed, adorably so.

“Really, Shepard, you were just all over me not an hour ago.”

“Oh, I’m always up to be all over you Liara.” 

Shepard proceeded to snuggle her face at the asari’s neck, making little suckling noises as the asari continued to speak. 

“Even though we just have quite a glamorous mission, though not the most successful, you truly are a wonder Shepard.”

“Just with you Liara, just with you.” Shepard continued to slant her body more against the sofa, finding herself on top of the asari that now was laying down, breathing heavily against her.

Liara hooked her arm behind the spectre’s head, her voice low and tantalizing as she brought the human lips near her own. “Maybe next time we have a date we could just… stay in?” It was the damned smile that got Shepard off, from a 106 year old virgin, within a few years Liara definitely learned the ropes on how to easily flay her mind with how delicious she looked. 

Grinning, Shepard dove in, capturing the purple lips and savoring them, tasting the little curves that made her so wild with each word that came out. Languidly, she let her lips once again trail down the asari’s neck, taking care to peel off the clothing that seemed to cling to Liara’s body.

“You’re so gorgeous and perfect, I can’t stop being near you.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Commander--” Liara smiled up at her, her voice turning into a purr, and her face turning to the side to simulate a more bashful look as she fluttered her lashes. Liara knew that was one of Shepard’s favorites, her turning back into the young asari she had found stuck in the prothean ruins, and although it alarmed her at first, she quickly found the appeal of what humans called ‘roleplaying’.

“Oh commander, it seems I accidentally set off a gravity field!” Liara said, making sure her voice was all high and innocent.

Shepard raised her head, quickly realizing the game that was going on. “Again Doctor T'Soni? Damn you’re cute, guess I need to save you again huh?”

“Can you please? It’s so very hard to get off, I feel so trapped--”

Shepard moved to leave the position, raising her hips but then failing, as if being pulled back down - she tried it a few more times, watching Liara’s face from innocent turn hungry as the human practically dry humped the asari beneath her.

“This is some strong gravity field Doctor-” Shepard said, leaning in towards the asari’s ear as she faux grunted and continued the hump. “I don’t think we can do this alone.” Shepard moved her hand, as if under great stress- then ‘accidentally’ having the hand grab on one clothed mound.

“Damn, Doctor, I’m sorry - it’s not me.” Shepard said, alarmed, her eyes big though her lips belied the action as the human tongue darted out to lick it’s lips.

Liara, as excited as she was couldn’t help but moan. Arching her back up higher to have Shepard’s hand envelop more. “I don’t mind commander! I know you’re doing your best. I’ll help with what I can.” the asari moved, raising her hips as well as her back, letting herself form and meld with the human, both of them undulating under each other.

“Doctor - uh. I think something’s wrong? Are you okay, I don’t know much about the asari body, but there’s something here in your uh breast.” Shepard acted innocent, moving her hand about the mound and using a finger to flick on a very alert nipple, standing out under the layer of clothes.

Liara whimpered, a gasp escaping her as she found it harder to concentrate. 

“Commander please, call me Liara - it’s such… we’re in such a delicate position I can’t--”

Shepard shook his head. “I can’t do that Doctor, I don’t want to seem very familiar, you’re new to the team.” Shepard tried to make her voice much more innocent, though now they both know it was no more than teasing as Shepard finally let her other hand trail down, nearer to the asari’s nethers.

“Commander, what are you doing!” Liara gasped, her mind reeling at the sensations of their little game. Liara loved Shepard, loved the feel of the human hands on her, possessive, clinging, making her feel like she was literally the only person in the room. But what excited her the most were these little games, it stimulated her mind, and her body, and the fact her mind was stimulated to no end always made Liara very, very horny. If there was anything that made sense regarding asari and their maiden days, Shepard made sure she was able to live it.

“Sorry Doctor, I’m just… trying to see if there’s anything we can do to shut this field off” Shepard trailed her fingers lower, snaking her hand to seek the little pocket that would undo Liara’s lower half. 

“Call me Liara! Oh commander, how would the button even be there!” Liara mewled as the fingers accessed her easily, she could feel the warm flesh move against her own, caressing her inner thighs.

Shepard chucked, a low deep chuckle that was spoken so near her ear, the breath hitting her lobe just right that every delicious firecracker of feeling shot directly at her center. “It’s a gravity field right? Must have been something you stepped on - trust me.” 

Liara opened her eyes fully, staring at the beautiful orbs that human had. “I trust you, commander.” she said, openly panting now. Shepard could see Liara’s eyes starting to darken as the movement below her started to arch violently. Shepard knew it was time, and so in one quick movement, the spectre went in and placed her fingers expertly along the asari’s slit, taking care to push two fingers in the sweet wetness as her palm made do with tackling the ever so sensitive clit.

Liara was now gasping, the feel of the fingers in her azure was delicious as always, it had the perfect size, the perfect technique, it made her feel full, and the pumping oh the pumping. Liara’s mind was racing. 

“Oh, commander ---,” she panted, unaware that her voice was getting higher. “Commander please!”

Shepard placed her forehead against the undulating asari, once more under her. She would never tire on how she made Liara feel this way, it was the most heartwarming thing she had ever done and will continue to do.

“Come on Liara-” Shepard finally said, making do with how she knew her voice could bring the asari over the edge. Using the asari’s name to fully syllabicate how it sounded on her tongue. “Come for me--”

And when Shepard felt the melding force itself into her brain, she welcomed it, she welcomed it as much as she pumped her fingers in the azure, unrelentless and unforgiving. She could feel the love that poured out of the asari, heck she could feel her own love and affection bounce back towards her.

“Shepard, oh Shepard!” Liara’s voice was either so strong in their meld and in real life.

There wasn’t enough time to come down from the asari’s high when a shriek sounded from behind them.

“Keelah!” the quarian said, and as fast an asari’s eyes could blink the meld away, Shepard laughed and sunk her body on top of the asari, making sure she could cover any private parts.

Quickly Garrus and the two other spectres popped out- with Garrus especially worried about the quarian who now had her hands covering her helmet.

“Mission that stressful huh Shepard?” The turian said, clicking his mandibles in obvious laughter as he pulled the quarian away. The two spectre’s stared at their commanders behind, tsk’ing as they did so. “You okay Liara?” Ashley asked “She’s not getting too heavy for you?” Liara whimpered, suddenly hiding herself fully from the view of the others. 

Kaidan laughed as he shook his head, Shepard took the cue to move her hand - still stuck in the asari’s nethers and lightly flicked towards the little prized bud, which obviously made Liara gasp loudly.

“Jesus Kaidan, they’re not done!” Ashley said as she moved away. 

Kaidan laughed again as it seemed he had tears in his eyes. “Must be a spectre thing, can’t wait for that to happen to us, Ash. Ultimate stamina.” 

When they were finally alone again, Shepard sat up, letting Liara’s obviously mushy legs stay on top of her lap as she let the asari lay down. With a wicked smile, Shepard took her two fingers and sniffed it long and hard, watching the asari’s face turn up in color. 

“Shepard. Please.” Liara said, hiding behind her hand despite obviously looking.

Shepard chuckled as she brought the fingers to her mouth, taking a lick before cleaning herself. “It’s the most delectable thing in the world Liara, I did all that loving to get a taste, you know.” 

Liara pulled herself and up and placed a quick peck on Shepard’s cheek. “I have quite a list now.”

“List of what?” The spectre asked, curious.

“A list of very nice places I’ll need to show you… especially after all you’ve shown me.” The purr in the asari’s voice was unmistakable and Shepard leaned in to take another kiss, languid now, savoring.

When the parted, Shepard let her forehead stay on the blue ones. A chuckle once again escaping her. “Let it never be said I don’t take you anywhere nice”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soon enough, EDI walked towards them, looking unfazed as usual. “Staff analyst Brooks is requesting the team’s presence Commander.”

Shepard stood up, patting the asari’s fondly on the knees before helping her up. “Back to work we go.”

Liara looked at her with such loving, adoring eyes. “You have the most delightful stamina my dear.” Shepard couldn’t help but smile sweetly, taking one more peck at the beautiful purple lips.

“I aim to please.” 

Once the group was back at the meeting area, Brooks started her findings. 

“It took a whole minute? EDI could decrypt that in 5 seconds.” Joker said as he shuffled towards the table, drink in hand.

EDI turned towards her partner. “I was giving a chance for staff analyst Brooks to improve her decryption skills.”

Joker waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, now you don’t get to show off.”

When Brooks scoffed- not all that kindly - Shepard watched the analyst look at all of them before speaking. “You’re heroes, you don’t need to show off, you’re legends in the Alliance, you’re all basically famous, maybe even everywhere. You’re the kind people look up to and all.

Wrex grunted “If that’s so why does everyone have it in for us?”

“You know Wrex,” Tali started, shifting the attention to her “I think it’s mostly you - the bigger the target… the bigger uh… the target.”

“So you’ve saying I gained weight?” Wrex said, his eyes squinting.

It didn’t help the situation when Garrus added “You did say you had a lot of varren legs lately big guy.”

Before Wrex could speak, Liara came in to contain them. “Now Wrex, it just means more of the legend to love.”

“Ah shucks Liara-” Shepard said butting in “I’m sure there’s more of me to love too, c’mere!” It didn’t surprise anyone at the table how Shepard opened her arms freely and went in to cuddle the asari, never letting a chance to stick to the asari go to waste.

“That is so nauseating.” Ashley snarked, who also easily relented when a few members of the group eyed her. “Fine, I’m just jealous. Happy?”

“Ey, I can come and snuggle you with these bad boys you want?” James said, standing up straighter like a school boy with a first crush.

Before anyone could add to the myriad of side comments, Brooks once again cleared her throat to continue with the data info. “Well, I guess I’ll have to add that your camaraderie? That? That’s the secret weapon.”

“That and how good I am I’m sure.” Shepard said smiling innocently at everyone.

Another round of ‘Sure commander’ moved together with grunts and eye rolls.

“So,” Shepard continued after the initial information given by Brooks and Glyph “we’re headed towards the maze which is the citadel archives, a place none of us knows. Good good, it’s going to be fun. Let’s go every--”

Shepard turned, ready to go at least until a volus interrupted here. 

“How’d you get in?” she asked, curious.

It was Grunt who was at the terminal who shrugged, but James was the one to talk.

“Eh… sorry, had the munchies.” 

Shepard had to close her eyes, same with a few others, especially just after James’ little episode with the cake.

“Make sure the pizza’s clean EDI, don’t let James get anywhere near food - or food like without making sure it’s clean.”

Before Shepard could pay the pizza, she once again looked at James. “So, you got one pizza for all of us?”

“Uh, just me. I can eat that whole.” the marine shrugged.

“Lovely. EDI, make sure James’ pay me back, damn boy, you didn’t even buy for all of us, I’m hurt.”

The group once again chuckled at the antic before Brooks moved to speak.

“Uh Commander, the archive is huge, guess we’ll have to cover a lot of ground, can’t take everyone.”

“What do you mean Brooks?” Shepard asked as she lifted a double pepperoni to her mouth. “Of course we can bring everyone!”

That brought a round of cheers at the table - that and an obvious fight to who gets the next few pizza slices - at least, everyone except the dextro’s and James.

Once the team was finally suited up, they were all at the living room once again, all in their gear and ready no slacking off of movement.

“So uh, who get’s to take point with you?” James asked. “Wish it could be me.”

Again the cacophony of people came in, giving their own little version of notice for Shepard to notice.

“We’ve got c-sec shuttles coming in to help us. I’ll go first, then whoever sits in the shuttle i’m sitting is the joining me.”

A chorus of ‘awwws’ and ‘unfair’ voiced through the room -all except James who coughed into his hand.

“Anything to say James?” Shepard said, lifting an eyebrow “You’ve done quite a lot of booboos ya know.”

“Uh… well, I thought those c-secs were mercs again, had them removed from the incoming by wrecking their nav… whoops?” James once again looked sheepish and Shepard couldn’t help but groan.

“Well, you tried.” the spectre said, before calling up Commander Bailey and giving a few excuses.

A grunt from behind her made Shepard turn, there the young krogan Grunt looked at her looking all the less krogan for being shy. "Uh, can I come?"

"Sorry Grunt, someone has to stay here."

"But moo--- Shepaard!" The krogan whined.

Shepard walked straight up to the krogan and have the boy a big head butt. 

"You stay here and be a better guard than James and you can get my Destiny Ascension Model, deal?"

The krogan's eyes sparkled as he brought his two fists together in a loud thump. "Deal!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's a different level on this one, a different comedy i'm not totally sure of. But that's the whole point of the fic really. Just need to find bearings again XD


	11. A Team's Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes into the Citadel Archives- baby Glyph finds an elcor mating totem - fascinating!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha funny enough - I didn't plan on updating this right now! But when I saw a comment (thank you!) and checked my drafts it seemed this was halfway done, so I just went in with continuing plus edits/ cleaning and now a new chapter is up yay!

#  **Cortez’s Interview:**

Side A: “The commander is pretty good in a lot of things, I like her work ethic, strong, resourceful, sure to get things done. As a friend, she’s pretty great, strong, resourceful, sure to get things- uh, yeah. She’s also really kind, I appreciate that she checks up on everyone, squad mates or her crew. The environment in the Normandy is different from anywhere else I’ve served, it’s got real heart. Glad I got to be a part of it..” - Testimony by Steve Cortez for Battlespace.

Side B: “I like everything about Shepard, not that way though -- but if there’s one thing I can safely say she isn’t good at… well, there’s a reason why i’m important this time around. The Alliance made sure Shepard had a shuttle pilot. Do you know about the Mako? I’m sure there’s vids about that in the extranet, I also heard around three Cerberus shuttle pilots were sacked cause Shepard was able to egg them to let her drive their shuttle despite what the previous XO of the Normandy said. Yeah, she also tried to egg me, bribe me, and once she almost got away by driving the Kodiak without me - which was a good thing, because I’m a good mechanic, but after seeing enough of her Mako vids, she’ll never get her hands on the wheel unless she ties me up.” Steve Cortez, shaking his head regarding Commander Shepard obvious weakness.

##  **A Team Night Out**

“Esteban, you're quick on your toes.” James said as he patted the shuttle pilot heavily on his back. Cortez was glad he was in full armor - if not, James would have no doubt slapped him to the floor. It had been a while since he had to hold a gun and charge head first into a fight, but there was a time for everything.

“I’ll drive one,” Cortez announced to the group three sets of sky cars arrived at Tiberius Towers, “Shepard, you’re gonna ride with me right? We’re renting these cars and well, as your shuttle pilot, I’m driving you.” 

Obvious snickering came from the group as everyone knew it was obvious Cortez was making sure Shepard didn’t drive, and with how bad the commander did drive, it was for the best. Shepard didn’t even try to defend herself anymore, with a glaring look at her friends, she went ahead and sat petulantly in the skycar where Cortez was manning.

“What are you all standing for laughing?” Shepard snapped as the group continued their snickers. “If you aren’t going to ride the sky cars in ten seconds I suggest you all run to Armax Arena before I leave you in your armor.” 

The threat really wasn’t much of a threat given the situation, but the team divided themselves equally. It was Brooks and Liara who found themselves with the commander in the car; Wrex, Garrus, Tali and Ashley were in one car while James, Kaidan, EDI and Javik were in the other. 

While in the car, Brooks was reciting most of her concerns, the snorts from the radio were obvious that some of her teammates were being dismissive of the analyst, either it was Javik’s sigh of annoyance or Ashley’s snorts of disbelief. Good thing the pilot where Brooks was was pretty level headed, if she were in any other skycar Brooks might have found herself thrown out.

“Hell stick with us and you’ll learn all the ropes, knives, bombs, thresher maws -  
Cortez said with a pleasant smile, making sure to be inclusive. At Liara’s coughs she could see the pilot’s smirk rise. “Oh yeah and you’ll probably learn to flay minds too.” he said flippantly which earned him an open mouth reaction from the asari, knowing that he was making fun of her. 

“I would have thought we’d be making fun of Shepard, I did not know I was included in the list to be warned about.” The asari scoffed light heartedly.

From the comms that crackled, Wrex let out a wry laugh Huh. Don’t hang out too long with us, or pretty soon you’ll be making friends with asari.”

“I heard that.” Liara said, swatting away the air as if Wrex was in front of her. 

“I know.” The krogan replied with a chuckle “That’s why I said it.”

Another huff easily left the asari’s lips as Shepard leaned in to give her a nudge. “Aw come on, Wrex obviously missed you.”

“Is this really the time to be so sweet commander?” Brooks asked, confusion painted on her face as Shepard didn’t even seem totally concerned about the danger that lurked in their near future. 

Shepard gave the analyst a shrug. “Sure it is - I mean, anything can happen, best make sure my girl knows I love her.” Shepard gave a suave smile to her partner, which in turn had Liara start to blush. 

Cortez couldn’t help but laugh, “You sure chose a charmer Doctor.”

Once they were at the rooftop of the Citadel Archives, it was only a matter of getting inside. The fact that James was holding an explosive to find a way to get them in the building was concerning, but at least he found a way fast enough.

“Where were you hiding that?” Tali asked incredulously as she watched James work the explosives. 

James looked up from his kneeling position, a nonchalant look on his face “Oh, I always keep it on my armor, looks like a sniper doesn’t it?” James moved the latches of the explosive turning it into a facsimile of a sniper before unhooking the latches and once again setting the bomb.

“Hope you didn’t win that one off a bet.” Cortez jeered, moving to walk away out of mock fear that the bomb will explode before it was set to detonate.

“Shut up esteban, I’ve learned my lesson.”

The group divided into teams as they moved in the building, Cortez joining Garrus’ skycar group with Brooks joining the others. Which left Shepard, Liara and Wrex on the main floor. Not even one foot inside the area and the sounds of mercs and gunshots could be heard.

“Looks like they’re ready for us!” Cortez shouted as he started to fire his rounds.

“Jeez Shepard, during the old days we had at least five minutes before everything went south.” Wrex grunted as he quickly went to headbutt a merc.

Garrus laughed as he sniped the headbutted merc that stood up again “Why Wrex? Getting old? Bad reflex?”

The krogan grunted as he fired a shotgun at a nearby enemy, scoffing as he lifted another that was quickly on his back before throwing the merc towards another. “At least i’m not fainting due to some random missile to the face. Bet you I can take four missiles!”

“One for each of your quads, maybe?” Came the retort from the turian.

Their banter continued until one of the tougher looking mercs shouted, signalling a wave of new enemies to come from behind him. “Shepard brought the whole crew! Shit they got a krogan, why don’t we have a krogan?”

“See? Even the enemy likes me,” Wrex gushed “they don’t seem that concerned about a little turian.” 

“Seriously is the time to be making these jokes?” Liara asked, cutting off the comm between the two. 

“Aw come on Liara, I was going to have my turn. Remember Garrus, my love, like I said, bigger target - _bigger target_.” At this Garrus laughed while Wrex took another shot at a merc before looking grumpily above where Tali and Garrus were. Tali was obviously making arm signs of a big target, making Garrus laugh from the battlements.

From beside her, the krogan snorted “Sure, because I’m bigger I get to be slower, I’ll show you!”

The snickers the group gave was all the more fun, considering the seemingly endless waves of enemies - but Wrex did very much become the hero of the hour when an atlas came out and he single-handedly brought it down all on his own.

The little celebration was cut off when Shepard noticed that there was someone missing from their little group - the most inexperienced of them all. A pang of worry and guilt moved to paint her face. Quickly looking around she saw Brooks on the top of the doorway, being held at gunpoint by a human hidden among the shadows.

“Your little fun done?” The drawl said, Shepard knew that voice - it was familiar.

“Let her go - your deal is with me.” The commander voiced out stepping forward, both to prove herself and to get a better view at their identity thief.

“Yeah, and you have your team while I’m here - all alone, why don’t you all let your pretty playthings down before I pop this woman’s head off.” 

Shepard signaled everyone to follow, when all the guns were down, another wave of mercs came out of their hiding places - pointing their guns at the group.

“You coward.” Shepard said. “Hiding behind a hostage and a lie.”

The laugh that came out was now more familiar. “Sikes to be you.” the shadow said before pushing Brooks away from her, James quickly came forward to help the poor analyst to her feet. 

Ashley snorted from the banisters. “Smitten boy scout.” - that earned her a not so gentle nudge from the merc _“Quiet bitch!”_

Shepard kept her eyes trained on the shadow that now stepped into the light. The collective gasps from behind and above her confirmed that she wasn’t having some kind of hallucination.

"Identity thief takes on a whole new meaning huh." James whispered in the comms.

A few heads absent mindedly nodded. "At least i'm - her - we're pushing the boundaries." Shepard shrugged off.

“A clone.” Javik said plainly, obviously unamused at the turn of events as this time he spoke loud enough without needing to use the comms.

“Uh huh so that’s how this is gonna be.” Wrex said beside her, his hands moving to drop down as a look of suspicious confusion washed over his face.

Liara quipped as her hands slowly fumbled in front of her. “Well… that was unexpected.” 

Shepard knew that tone of her beloved and she removed her eyes from the clone in front of her to look back at Liara. “You’re thinking of something dirty aren’t you! Wanna be in a Shepard sandwich?” the spectre accused although the smile on her lips was obvious - the eyebrow wiggling moreso.

The surprise in everyone’s voice - even the mercs at the apparent jab was obvious. Liara turned into a deep shade of purple before raising her hands in defeat. “Fine I was thinking about it! Everyone happy now?” The doctor pouted as she folded her arms together. The moment was short lived when the clone scoffed above them.

“I’ll pass, sorry, you’re nothing more than a college cheerleader pretending to be a soldier.” The smirk on the clone’s face turned bigger as she watched the indignant look from the asari. “You’re cute sure, but I prefer my asari… much more mature.” 

The gasp from a few of the team was obvious, they knew who the clone was referring to and quickly all of her squad mates turned to look at Shepard who now had fire burn in her eyes.

“Don’t you talk about Liara that way! She’s more than just cute!” Shepard defended, which Liara almost swooned for if not for the spectre adding to that thought. “And don’t you dare mean Samara- she’s off limits!” 

Wrex gave a confused look adding to the conversation as if they weren’t being held at gunpoint; “That justicar that wanted to ‘discipline’ Tuchanka single handedly?” 

EDI’s voice spoke from the ledge, her comment free for everyone to hear. “It seems Shepard has continued on holding a flame to the justicar.” 

The sniggers from the above levels were obvious given how everyone knew Shepard’s little quirk with her asari preferences.

Even Cortez couldn’t help but laugh - even though next to Brooks he was the one nearest to get anxious at the number of mercs surrounding them. “Ha! That’s why you had Kaidan move down with me in the shuttle bay when Samara joined us from Lessus!”

Shepard gave a sheepish grin at the shuttle pilot before turning slightly towards Liara, though not meeting her eyes. Yes she had a not-so-little flame for the justicar and although Liara knew about it - given how much melding they’ve already had, her asari was always prone to little bouts of jealousy. The fact that she gave the whole observatory back to the matron asari on the trip from Lessus to the crucible well, now Kaidan and Ashley knew about it too - the real reason they were thrown off their place in the observation area.

The clone continued to speak, rolling her eyes at the assumption and snorted at the obvious disrespect towards her. “Maybe, but I’m sure anyone of the more… developed asari would work, Sha’ira… the asari councilor, Tevos, maybe even the Pirate Queen Aria?”

“Not before she implodes you I’m sure.” Kaidan mention off-handedly as again another set of snickers left the group .

Finally Shepard turned to hug her beloved, uncaring as she swatted one of the merc’s assault rifles away as she enveloped Liara. “Cut it out guys, my baby is getting antsy…” Shepard lowered her voice just so Liara could hear “and horny…”

Liara made a face, moving to release herself from Shepard, “You do realize its more on antsy because of the other asari in your team?”

”Well... you’re still horny, yeah?” Shepard smiled with concern, turning her puppy dog eyes on snd caressing the asari’s face with her hands.

The groans from the comms made it obvious that the last part was said in accidental broadcast.

“Uh Shepard?” Cortez’ voice said through the comms “the other you is gone, nobody noticed?” 

True enough once they looked around the clone was nowhere to be found. 

“Shit, must have gone ahead-” Ashley said, moving to pick up her gun. 

“No can do girly-” the merc behind her said as he moved to poke the barrel of his gun at the other spectre’s back.

“Mercs are stupid.” Kaidan said plainly, angling himself for a better look. “Just because we don’t have guns doesn’t mean we aren’t armed.” With a surprise flick of his hands, a biotic attack weaved through the group - alerting everyone and giving the team time to pick up their guns and work on their attacks. All the biotics have used their power, Tali’s chattika quickly zoomed to round up the other mercs, Garrus quickly sent out a grenade before picking up his sniper and climbing on a crate.

When the last merc fell, Liara waved her hand for the team to stop as she looked around. “All right, we’re clear, now let’s find that other you.”

“Not for something dirty- right?” Tali innocently egged on, which made Liara huff as Shepard laughed again.

The senior spectre quickly moved her fingers moving the team around as they entered to a different room - by the time they passed the corridor, Shepard had Wrex and Javik switch positions.

When they reached a different part of the archive, everyone’s reaction was condensed into one single comment Kaidan made. “Wow. Big place.” The snort that came from the prothean beside her made it obvious he wasn’t amused by the male spectre’s lack of vocabulary. 

As her and the group moved along the maze that was the archive, her comm cracked and the turian’s voice popped out. “What do you think your clone wants to find in here?”

Shepard shrugged “I don’t know, something weird I guess.”

“Like finding out you have a clone?” Javik asked innocently.

“We can talk about that - later” Shepard replied, waving her hand. The clone’s comments earlier getting to her.

“Agreed, at least after a drink” Liara added, also miffed at remembering the clone’s words and her own beloved’s reactions.

The quiet was not done when they turned to the tubed corridors as Javik once again decided to chat them up. “Think of what a clone would do for you Commander, they can do the things you do not want to do.”

This time it was Brook’s voice that popped in the comms “Like a personal butler?” 

Shepard shook her head, despite many of the squad not seeing her. “I don’t want to talk about it” 

Liara couldn’t help but add to the interaction. “Yes, so let your clone do it. I’m sure she would want to talk about it. Talk about how she would be a lot more upfront about her feelings about a certain asari.”

The narrowed eyed look Shepard gave Liara was enough to make the young doctor stop and chuckle as Shepard defended herself. “You already know everything about Samara babe.” Shepard moved to whine “Do we gotta meld right here?”

Liara’s eyes opened wide, a perfect caricature of innocence and playfulness “Oh? I didn’t say it was Samara---” she said in sing song voice.

“Oh. She’s good Shepard.” Wrex said in the comms, again the group laughed at the expense of their commander’s predicament.

Soon enough, more waves of mercs came, shooting the area and trying - and failing to actually give any of her team any damage. 

“Quantity not quality huh?” Cortez shouted through the comms amazed how there were so many mercs and none of them seemed to be like a real challenge.

“At least we can end them quickly and get to having a party, Esteban!” James agreed as another merc flew off the railings.

“Party what party?” Shepard asked, unaware that there were any plans.

The quiet comm made it obvious that some of her team was planning something she wasn’t aware of.

“Party? What party are they walking about?” Shepard asked Liara as they turned into another corridor.

Liara gave a non committal shrug, she knew about the party, but she wasn’t really going to spoil anything for Shepard. Her beloved moved to speak again before Glyph thankfully appeared in front of them. 

“Look what I found Dr T’soni, an elcor mating totem, fascinating!” 

Shepard’s commands died down from her lips when she couldn’t help but quirk a smile. “Even Glyph acts like you now.” she laughed. Although Glyph was still a vi, the little ball was definitely advanced and had a great personality. 

“It also looks like the stupid machine found more enemies.” Javik said as a new wave of mercs descended onto them.

What the mercs lacked in power, they had in numbers, and despite the length of the archives they traveled, there seemed to be a bigger number coming out. It wasn’t until they were what seemed to be the last corridor did Shepard realize that her comms have been silent for a while. 

“Team Hammerhead, Team Mako, status?” 

Again the line was quiet, confusing Shepard as well as worrying her. “That’s worrying…”

“Could be the connection- “ Liara suggested.

“Should at least have some static -”

The brainstorm was cut off when the comm was opened and Brook’s voice flooded their ears.

“Commander! The other you is jamming our radios! The team moved onward to catch her, but I’m hit, I need help. Please hurry!”

“She is very needy, this analyst.” Javik commented. “She should have stayed behind a desk than join us.”

Shepard ignored the quip, but knew that the prothean was right. They were putting Brooks in more danger than necessary on someone who wasn’t that proficient. 

Running to the end of the corridor, the door opened after a spectre authorization and the trio could see Brooks on the end of the room, without hesitation the trio ran forward until they found themselves locked in a force field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah so now to die down again - joke - I found the citadel archives really hard, checking the in game reactions of the squad and watching / replaying parts to hear everyone's reaction and what to include and add etc.
> 
> Mostly because I want all the people in the team to get lines and I wanted to add the fun bits, like... Glyph degrading the mercs morals, but too much of the same stuff from the Citadel DLC makes me feel draggy in adding them word for word. 
> 
> I also wanted to level up in the writing again, as the last chapter was a bit of a haphazard with so many single liners thrown in without anymore descriptions. So maybe in the next chapters it will get better again. The party scene and meeting of other squad members is a must after all. Will help with the character spacing / talking. Imagine shoving 30 people in a chapter. Doable but difficult and not something I can do -- yet-- lmao.
> 
> Anyway yay new chapter - hope you enjoy! 
> 
> P.S. I love Samara, I'm not sorry. I don't think I can exclude the justicar in any story - even this one. (Admittedly it was supposed to be more dramatic, but I'll keep this nice and clean. My Shepard with all the asari f*tish will be on a different fic)  
> On a personal note, out of my (planned/supposed) nine Shepard playthrough's probably only two will not fall for the justicar, one is a full paragon who isn't gonna even invest in any other feelings except for the ME1 and the second is a full renegade - I don't want to know what this means, is Morinth gonna live? Who knows? But yeah that's just for gameplay fun XD

**Author's Note:**

> Every chapter start will have a sort of interview with Shepard's squad / crew whatever you call it. I didn't expect that all of them would fit in the chapters so I'll work it out somehow. 
> 
> It was also a way to get you guys to learn a bit of this Shepard and how her relationship is with the crew. Those things. :)


End file.
